So yes folks, this lovely picture was taken today as I slid down my mountain after my swim on my way to work. Peaceful, eh? It’s what we would like to believe just a couple of days before the official beginning of spring. Well, I sit here now typing with yet another impending snow storm headed our way! And believe me, I am not too happy. I had really begun to think that maybe we had turned a corner as I began to see earth appear on my lawn. Of course there is still a foot of snow in spots, but I figured it was a good sign that the sun had melted it here and there. I was even brave enough to order special milkweed seeds to attract monarch butterflies to my yard this year! A lovely new project….but I’m beginning to fear we may be in an endless winter and they will never come. Maybe I should have ordered something to attract penguins instead?
But there is an interesting positive note that I discovered today I would like to share with all my blogging buddies and readers out there. When I left the house this morn, I was very verklempt (upset) that I would have to tell my fire Chief that I might not make it in tomorrow because of the storm. This was very difficult for me as I have always been a do or die sort of employee. I have great guilts about missing a day for any reason. Even after my accident I didn’t miss a day and now realize that was a stupid mistake. So during my swim I fretted about how I would tell him and in the end just decided to tell him the truth: I can’t leave my dogs for fear I would get stuck there. Plus I can’t ask my daughter to drive in that bad weather to take care of the dogs.
I checked the weather when I got in and the predictions continued to be bleak. So I marched in and told him my plan to stay in if it continued to look grim. What I did do though, was get coverage in case. He was a bit bothered, but not too bad and by the end of the day accepted it pretty well. But I still felt guilty.
Driving home I racked my brain about how I could make it work: could I go back and make my daughter sleep over? Could I find someone else? Could my other daughter stay if she didn’t go to work? And then I got home. My three dogs greeted me at the door and were so happy to see me. And suddenly I realized: why am I so worried? What is really important in my life? If I went to work and drove off the road and got hurt or worse, who would take care of them forever? Yes, I have an important job as a paramedic, but my life and the pets and people in it are important too. And for the first time in my life/career I let it all go and said: it’s OK to be home and I’m not going to feel badly about it AT ALL. I come first.
It’s funny how long we may come to these realizations. Or that it might take a little puggle looking up at you to make you realize it. It’s all cumulative I suppose. Everything in our lives brings us to the points of realization and our AHA moments. At least we get there at some point even it takes a long time.
So if I wake up in the morning to 8 inches of snow and it’s still falling, then I will take the dogs out and go back to bed. Or if they are wrong, and it’s nothing I will go off to work and rejoice!