Out Of The Fog


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So I’m ready to come out of the cold and fog into the sun and light. Today I announced to my chief at the fire station that I will be giving my notice as soon as I can find a buyer for my home. It was an amazing relief!

Now of course there are miles to go before this can happen, like fixing the house, the snow melting so someone can even get in to fix the house and then hopefully finding a buyer. But still–it was such a sweet feeling.

I wasn’t planning on saying anything until the end–until the contract was signed. But today, something just told me to do it. And I’m glad I did. Many of my friends already knew and there was a chance he would find out anyway. But more importantly, just because I felt that the place had let me down, was not a reason to do the wrong thing.

There are many reasons I’m leaving the job and it’s sad for me. I’ve worked hard to carve out a reputation in the community and I’ve tried hard to do a good job. Sadly though, it’s just not a place I’ve ever fit in. Story of my life! I’m not a follower and one is better off being a follower there. My kindergarten report card said: She is a born leader. Oh my. It also said if the kids don’t play the way she wants, she doesn’t let them play. I’ve worked on that one most my life….

Anyway, whatever the reasons are moot now because I’m moving on for many reasons. The most important one is that I’m moving south to be near my Mother. This is a relationship that needs more mending. It’s been 40 years since we’ve lived close by and it’s time to be near again. We left each other on odd terms many, many years ago and while we’ve stayed in touch (and not on bad terms)–it’s time to become a family again. We’re both very excited.

And I’m getting older and don’t like the weather in the north anymore. Some sunshine will do me good! This climate change is true, I don’t care what anybody says–the winters are more brutal.  Maybe a hurricane will blow me away, but at least it will be sunny in between.

So, it’s time to start again. Create a new chapter and new life. I’ve been hedging towards this for years now and never had the guts. But finally all the planets aligned. And, well, it was simply time.

I came to where I live now 20 years ago with a husband and three daughters and high hopes. I’m leaving now divorced and my kids grown and doing their own things. The daughter that lives with me now is sending me off with blessings. She is thrilled to be living in her own apartment (she was the one thing that kept me here for so long).

With those blessings and great sadness to leave friends behind, I face ahead with great joy and hope for new and hopefully this time, successful steps of my life!

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