Cray-Cray?


As the hurricane is getting closer to where I live, I’m wondering if I notice its pull on the human beings around me? Am I imagining it or is it real?

Certainly humans are overly preoccupied with the weather now that we can have a minute to minute account of what it’s doing via social media on our phones and computers–this with a full onslaught of radar, photos, video and people telling us about the death and destruction about to hit us. No wonder everyone gets coo-coo.

I HAVE LOTS OF WATER!!

Are people better off not knowing? Well, probably not, because at least we can prepare, but wow, one would think it’s the end of the world rather than the possibility of a power outage, wind and some flooding. But maybe it’s just something to talk (complain?) about.
The endless lines for gas, the empty grocery shelves, the incessant talk about what our work wants from us. These folks have obviously have never lived through an ice storm and the following 11 days of no power in sub freezing weather after! Now that sucks! At least it’ll be warm here. Not to diminish the issues that may befall us…just that getting cray-cray is of no use.

HERE’S WHAT A VEGAN STOCKS 🙂

But clearly this kind of thing brings out the best AND the worst in folks, as I’ve experienced both in the past couple of days.

My most wonderful neighbors, who were just hanging out yesterday having a drink or two, chatted with me about the upcoming storm. I asked about preparations and two of them offered to help me get ready! They came over and together we put up my hurricane panels, a job I had never done before. They assured me too, that I have the special windows and should be OK. When offered money or a bottle of wine, they flatly refused, saying that this is what neighbors do for each other! Wow, finally a neighborhood where I belong and where folks are kind and caring.

On the other hand, my desk mate went off on me today. Instead of simply telling me something I was doing bothered him, he got very personal about it. It got mean and hurtful. And when we talked later, he took no responsibility for how it made me feel. While this didn’t totally surprise me, it was rather out of the blue and seemed ‘stormy’ that he should attack me the way he did.

IT GOT UGLY AND SPOOKY AT WORK.

Luckily, I’m used to it there and have learned so much better how to handle these things. It bothered me, but I will let it pass over me like the hurricane. It won’t change me any more than any weather pattern will change me.

In instances like this we can let the pressure make us or break us. We can pull together or decide to let the burden of stress be so heavy that we lash out like the items we haven’t battened down.

It’s really up to us how we want to be and how we want to come out of this: surrounded by our own wreckage or in good shape because we all worked together to prepare.

I’D RATHER BE PEACEFUL.
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Guilt Fairy


It has been very rainy and foggy here lately. With bouts of thunderstorms. I’d imagine it’s the crazy weather system that brought the awful tornadoes that killed so many and caused such havoc in the mid-west. This weather tends to make people edgy after a while I’ve found. They start becoming cranky and irritable. When the sun doesn’t shine for long periods of time, sunny dispositions disappear.

I’ve been having some pretty grave struggles with my ex. For many years now, I’ve put on a brave face and gone along like a good soldier and done my best to get along. I truly wanted no trouble and felt badly that I had left, so only wanted happiness for him and productive co-parenting. I’ve even tried hard with his new wife. I suppose I’m naive and figure that eventually people will move on and forgive once their lives become whole again. And that most people might try to see the best in others. But maybe this just can’t be so…or maybe it’s just the rain.

So I have finally gotten to a point where I will no longer tolerate disrespect or bullying–even if it is disguised with smiles and other tactics that mask someone who pretending to be mature. In actuality the behavior is often wavering between passive aggressive to downright mean. And so many conversations slip back to the past instead of sticking to whatever issue is at hand and the seething anger comes boiling to the top. All I feel is: get over it! It’s been years. I mean seriously.

I simply cannot fathom how someone can continue to be so blind to the things they do and say to someone and refuse to apologize. How everything is always justified when they do it, but terrible awful when you do something they perceive is bad.  “Blamers”–a term my friend coined. Very apt to this kind of person. And I will no longer fall as bait. I blamed myself for too long as I heard the voices in my head say I was bad for what I did. His voice was certainly in there. But no longer! The past is over and nothing can change it. I’ve tried to explain to him that we can only make today right, but apparently he doesn’t get it.

Even the sunshine doesn’t seem to help this situation. But I can’t hold this on my shoulders any longer. It’s been too great a burden. It had weighed me down and kept me from loving. Loving myself and being at peace. All we really have is today. The past is gone and we have no idea what tomorrow may bring. Cliche, but true. So no more wallowing in what I did or didn’t do and no-one can make me re-visit it anymore. My Mother used to say: chase the guilt fairy away. And so I have!

Bring on the sun!