Merry Eostre


So my dear and diverse readers in blogging land, I’m going to diverge from my normal protocol (well mostly) and stick my toe into the potentially controversial topic of religion.

Today as most of you know is Easter here in the US. And some of you may also know, because I have mentioned on my blog before, I am not Christian– although I do tend to be a very spiritual (and respectful) person. But there is one thing that I have found over the years perplexing (and maybe slightly tiresome) that I’m going to put out to you all.

Why do people–like almost everybody I bump into–feel compelled to wish me a Happy Easter and assume this has meaning to me? This has been going on for days leading up to today and each time I hear it, I just wonder what they think when they say it. Do they think that I too am Christian and celebrate this particular holiday or is it just something to say instead of: gee, it’s a nice day out?

To me it would seem the more appropriate thing to say might be: Do you celebrate Easter? And then this might open a conversation. Or they could even discuss their Easter plans and say: What a great day for Easter. Then it leaves the other person open to speak of their plans if they have any, or just listen if they don’t.

If someone is a completely different religion, say Jewish, wishing them a Happy Easter, is not particularly relevant to them. At Christmas time these phrases (Merry Christmas!!) happen too, although folks seem sometimes to be a bit more aware and sometimes offer a ‘Happy Holidays’ just in case.

I understand that people aren’t trying to be rude or anything, but it’s more about awareness of ones interactions with people and who they might be. Like the adage: don’t assume. Just because you believe something and it has meaning to you, doesn’t mean it does to someone else (even if it has meaning to a large population). It’s maybe not a big thing really. Just a small politeness. A tiny way to say: hey, I’m me, but maybe you’re you and it’s OK. We can all live here together with our own beliefs, traditions and truths. A way to keep trying to connect our world on a more individual level and not lump everyone into a category. Maybe if we tried this and took the time to get to know each person we met rather than treat them as a reflection of our own insecurities, there wouldn’t be so much hate and fear.

So what if I said to you: Merry Eostre. What would you say and how would you feel? Would you take the time it hear what it means to me? Or will you remain in your own story till the end…??

I hope you all had a wonderful, peaceful and blessed Sunday.

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What I Did Today


(Note: This is a political post and could be offensive to some readers)

While I have never thought of myself as very political or extremely patriotic, I do vote and care about what happens here in this country. That’s just because I’m a caring human being in general, most the decisions I make in life, big ones anyway that involve ethical decisions, are geared around trying to be kind and trying to think about the ‘bigger picture’ beyond just me.

Because of this I’ve made lifestyle choices that have often made me seem odd or have put me far from mainstream America. This is fine by me. Live and let live, as long as we are all respectful of each other.

Of course you guessed by now that my ‘politics’, if I have to label myself, is liberal. For many years I didn’t claim either party and simply considered myself Independent, but this just seemed, well, simply too non-committal to me. And I knew I would never affiliate with the Republican side, so one day I decided to become a Democrat. No surprise there, right?

I’m not an over the top Democrat though. Like I said: politics isn’t my schtick.  I’ve lived with Republican Presidents, Senators, Congressmen and all the decisions that they make too. I understand that being an American means: you vote and sometimes your ‘side’ doesn’t win. And then you deal as best you can. You continue to be the best person you can regardless.

But this time it’s different. This time the election has left me cold. It isn’t just a Republican that has won, but someone altogether different. Someone who so many of us simply can’t understand how our fellow Americans wanted as our President. It’s simply baffling….and scary.

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As reports come out now about his personality (narcissist) and his capabilities (turning democracy into kleptocracy), my years of being a side-line player in our political system is becoming harder to be. I am a pacifist at heart, so plunging into the heart of a heated protest is not my style, but I also am a strong believer in our right to be heard.

Today for the first time in my entire life, I wrote political leaders in my state. My Governor and my two Senators. I’m compelled to do something to bring attention to the freight train barreling toward our democracy. It subtly and over time, can be dismantled without anyone really being aware. Unless we are diligent and proactive. Standing by hoping it will ‘go away’ or just play itself out, is a dangerous thing to hope for against someone who is so full of himself as this president.

I’m sorry if I have offended those of you who support this person. I only ask that you look beyond your personal needs (and I know they are real!) to the man behind the words. Many men just like him spouted big words and went on to do horrible things. It’s about personality here, ethics, greed, morality, neediness, hate and ego to name a few. It’s not about political party. He doesn’t represent a political party, or me, or you. He represents himself, his family and his own desires.

This is a very dangerous thing for the head of any country!

So be aware, be kind to others (even if you don’t agree with them), think beyond yourself, read real news (not on Facebook) and notice what he does and doesn’t do, really listen to his words!

Everything important here is at stake. Truly. For ALL of us.

Guilt Fairy


It has been very rainy and foggy here lately. With bouts of thunderstorms. I’d imagine it’s the crazy weather system that brought the awful tornadoes that killed so many and caused such havoc in the mid-west. This weather tends to make people edgy after a while I’ve found. They start becoming cranky and irritable. When the sun doesn’t shine for long periods of time, sunny dispositions disappear.

I’ve been having some pretty grave struggles with my ex. For many years now, I’ve put on a brave face and gone along like a good soldier and done my best to get along. I truly wanted no trouble and felt badly that I had left, so only wanted happiness for him and productive co-parenting. I’ve even tried hard with his new wife. I suppose I’m naive and figure that eventually people will move on and forgive once their lives become whole again. And that most people might try to see the best in others. But maybe this just can’t be so…or maybe it’s just the rain.

So I have finally gotten to a point where I will no longer tolerate disrespect or bullying–even if it is disguised with smiles and other tactics that mask someone who pretending to be mature. In actuality the behavior is often wavering between passive aggressive to downright mean. And so many conversations slip back to the past instead of sticking to whatever issue is at hand and the seething anger comes boiling to the top. All I feel is: get over it! It’s been years. I mean seriously.

I simply cannot fathom how someone can continue to be so blind to the things they do and say to someone and refuse to apologize. How everything is always justified when they do it, but terrible awful when you do something they perceive is bad.  “Blamers”–a term my friend coined. Very apt to this kind of person. And I will no longer fall as bait. I blamed myself for too long as I heard the voices in my head say I was bad for what I did. His voice was certainly in there. But no longer! The past is over and nothing can change it. I’ve tried to explain to him that we can only make today right, but apparently he doesn’t get it.

Even the sunshine doesn’t seem to help this situation. But I can’t hold this on my shoulders any longer. It’s been too great a burden. It had weighed me down and kept me from loving. Loving myself and being at peace. All we really have is today. The past is gone and we have no idea what tomorrow may bring. Cliche, but true. So no more wallowing in what I did or didn’t do and no-one can make me re-visit it anymore. My Mother used to say: chase the guilt fairy away. And so I have!

Bring on the sun!