Honey, I’m Home!

Recently I was watching a video (a funny one) that was on one of the late night shows about how there are these Robots with AI that are being used for certain ‘relationships’ I won’t really get into here. I’m not sure if it was real or humor in response to all the out pouring of sexual harassment allegations that have hit the news lately. In any case, it was a moment’s pause where laughing was medicine in an otherwise very un-funny situation.

But the whole idea made me think. Having been a single woman for a very long time, I wondered about the concept of Robot companions–not at all in the way that this particular video mentioned, but maybe more like an R2D2 sort of way. Could this be a possibility for the future? Our own home companions or partners?

I mean, let’s face it: I’ve “been there, done that” and bought every possible T-shirt for trying to date and find the right person for me. Over the course of years I’ve been single (and I’ve actually lost count now of the years), and the stories I could tell about the weirdos I’ve come across on the websites would make hanging out with a machine seem like heaven. Humans are scary and/or boring.

Picture it: instead of pouring through 100’s of  old photos and fake profiles of humans, you could simply pick out which Robot best suits your needs; short, tall; human looking (creepy) or not; male voice, female voice; appendages or just lights. Then, you could have the AI programmed to whatever things you enjoy or are interested in–think of all the data that could go in there. No more dates with someone who is clueless! Ah the dinner discussions!

Honestly, I’m not so interested in much of an emotional attachment anymore, although some of these Robots you see in movies are pretty darn cute, way cuter than some of the people I’ve tried to date! It’s all about communication anyway at my age, or maybe even helping out around the place. So if you read a good book together, you could discuss it. Or maybe go to a movie together. There could be special all terrain Robots built for hiking too.

The possibilities are really endless here. Robots are filling in so many areas of our lives anyway, why not becoming part of our family? Yes, I understand there is a bit of a spooky part of it; the whole bit of them taking over the world, infiltrating our homes and getting smarter than we are (which isn’t a stretch really). Sure, this could certainly happen…

But before they do decide to take over, having a companion that’s smart, reliable, predictable, neat, sympatico and maybe even agreeable would be such a nice change. And maybe having one on your side might just be an advantage when push comes to shove and Robots gain power over us.

Because, if there are bad ones, then there will be good ones, and they will be the ones we shared our homes with and loved.


Poem: Strictly Platonic


through a multi-layered

marbled veined cake

Ribbons of color and texture

lathered with sickly sweet

frosting and fake flowers

dripping down the sides

They all come

to sweeten the palate

and give sugar rushes

in brain bursting fury

Different sized portions

doled out in snippets

or heart attack plate fulls

all sure to crash

sooner or later



Bitter Pills

It has been up and down the last 24 hours. My beagle ran away-burst through a window again, and took off. Silly dog doesn’t realize he’s too old to still be doing this these days. As beagles do, he loves to run–more than he has loved us. A rescue dog, he has never quite fit in. But we take care of him best we can.

After waking up, I also had an unexpected email also from a ‘friend’. It’s funny how we think we know someone, or how someone portrays themselves to you and we want to believe them. I suppose people honestly believe what they tell you about themselves. Maybe they want to believe what they say about themselves? Honesty, specifically when it comes to ourselves, it can be a bitter pill to swallow. Man, I’ve been chewing a few over the last couple of years.

But saying goodbye in an email or text seems to be the new norm. One I will never for the life of me understand. What ever happened to in person or at least on the phone? At least then the other person has the chance to speak their part or hear reasons, or try to understand. Doesn’t a friendship at least warrant that much? The pain of simply hearing finality via an electronic message seems so cold and unfair, yet so many lapse into this method now. Very cowardly in my opinion.

So how do we know who to trust and what words are true coming from another? Or can we ever? Time is certainly a factor in determining trust in another. In this day of quick and computer hook-ups (guilty as charged), getting to know someone on a deep level seems nearly impossible. And so easy also to toss them aside for someone else because there will be a whole list of computer entries waiting in tow. Everything, therefore, feels so superficial. Meeting people through other people, at work, or in real-time seems to rarely happen. And when it does, people don’t seem to want to take the time, have the patience or really communicate to make the relationship/friendship work.

For me, this makes not wanting to get too close to people feel much safer and joyful. I’ve enjoyed my last two years getting to know myself, making peace with the demons I have within me, spending more time with the people I already know, taking time for new things and simply just being quiet.

Understanding other people, what motivates them, what their needs are, how real they might be and expecting their standards within a friendship to be on par with mine seems a mystery. This is most certainly true when pertaining to the opposite sex. That completely baffles me to the point where I have given up. Each time I try dipping my toes in that water again, I plunge headlong within muddy waters of utter confusion and miscalculation. Best simply not to do it.

This seems sad, but being within these situations is more draining, more exhausting and strains all my resources trying to decode the interactions. I’ve gone through the gyrations of blaming myself, of blaming them or not caring at all, but now it’s simply time to say: best to leave it alone altogether. There are too many unanswered questions that people smarter than me can’t figure out.

So for now, the good news is my dog is home. Battered and tired, but home where he belongs. The best news is I’m free and unencumbered,with no wondering, no deciphering, no disappointments, feeling that simple joy and peace of knowing my own soul.

And as my Mother says: it’s better to be alone than wish you were…..


Poem: Mr. Too Good To Be True

Mr. Too Good To Be True

I got my eyes on you

But you don’t have a clue

You got all this and all that

You give meow to a cat

You know where its at

Yes you got your jive down

You’re a special man in town

You turned my head around

Yo, Too Good To Be True

To you it’s all mighty new

Playin peacock in this zoo

Strutin and tellin to me

All how it’s gonna be


Mr. Too Good To Be True

I live here too

And can see right through

Behind all you say

With all those shades of gray

And: come here, get away

So Mr. Too Good To Be True

You’ve left me quite blue

Not sure what to do

I’m once again at a loss

At this blasted coin toss

Where’s my knight on the horse?

You said I should wait

Cause you are just that great

I got that straight

But gee Mr. Right

I just may not bite

Fancy talk and from such a great height


Advice For Men On Dating Websites

Ok, so I’ve been at this online dating thing for a couple of weeks now (this time) and I have some serious advice for the guys out there…that is if you’re seriously interesting in getting a gal to continue to date you OR to date you in the first place. Or maybe this is just me?! I don’t know, but I’m going to put it out there anyway, just because you can’t make this stuff up and maybe it will help someone or at least make someone out there laugh.

1. Don’t bring a present on the first meeting. You may think it’s nice, but I may think it means I owe you something.

2. Don’t be rude to the waitress. Seriously, what exactly is that suppose to say to me?

3. Don’t ask me to live with you after saying 3 things to me online? Are you freaking serious dude?

4. Show me a picture after I ask (nicely) to see one. And if you don’t want to, don’t call all women on the website losers because we may want to see what you (a loser obviously) want to look like first.

5. Make some slight effort at spelling and punctuation. Surely try in your profile! I mean that’s what spellcheck is for, right? I understand that we all make mistakes, but come on! Like the one guy that keeps writing: Good mourning to me?! Like what? Am I going to die or something? Sheesh. (PS wordpress spellcheck caught this one and asked me to correct it!)

6. Don’t refer to me as: Hi sexxxy. Um, yup…won’t work. I’m not 16. I believe it said I was 56 and that garbage doesn’t flatter me anymore.

7. Don’t ‘throw love’ at me after talking to me once. And skirt the issue when I ask what you do for a living and be so quick to say that a 2 hour car ride to my house isn’t an issue when my profile specifically says: someone close by. Look: I’m not an idiot. Something is up and I know it. Oh…so when you do finally admit you’re on disability and don’t have a job–ya, well, no surprise there bud.

8. Don’t grope me after the first date. Are we in high school here? Where are your manners? And then wonder why I’m not interested? Didn’t your Mother teach you anything?

9. Being jealous that I have other dates after I talked to you once is a bit much. This is a DATING website. We aren’t engaged because you said hi to me.

10. No you can’t come to my house after the first date. Even if I do like you.

11. Don’t contact me if you live three states away!

Ok, so these are only a few tidbits. And these are really ‘true facts’ that happened to me! As my old supervisor used to say: No word of a lie: they really happened. So after 2 weeks I’m already ready to give up. Pretty sad isn’t it? Oh I’ve heard the women are no better. I’m not bashing the men here…I only know one side. But it’s driving me coo-coo.

Someone suggested Craig’s list? She’s getting married from a guy she met there! And my best friend met her partner on there. Or maybe I can blog a boyfriend? 🙂