Poem: Chrysalis


The New Year spirals down

Like the blizzarding snow

Of last nights storm

And I sit in my room

Surrounded by my dogs

And contemplate

What fate will befall me

I think about last years trials

The hope for love

That so many times

Walked in and out of my life

And the fearful ride

Down and over an endless cliff

Only my seatbelt saving my soul

My weariness of work

Back and forth, back and forth

So many years, so much given

I face this New Year

As I do them all

With uncertainty

But hope, always hope

Can it change?

Will my sphere swirl joy?

Or does the world paint gloom?

Can I press my way towards bliss?

Stand dead in my tracks

Turn 180 around

And walk the other way

Towards a New Beginning

Freedom

A weaving of new fabric

Shedding of my skin

Metamorphosis

The chrysalis emerges

Its time to fly!

 

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Just Like Amelia


ameliaI have always admired Amelia Earhart, way back for as long as I can remember. And it’s funny because I hate to fly. It’s not because she was a pilot, it’s because she was a woman and did something women just didn’t do back then… She blasted off into the unknown wild blue yonder and had a crazy adventure.

I suspect not many women even had their pilot’s license in that day and age. But she did. And then she came up with the cockamamie idea to fly around the world after she already was the first woman to fly across the Atlantic Ocean by herself. Sadly her circumnavigational trip around the globe failed and she disappeared July 2, 1937 (my birthday is July 1!).  But I am not the only one to remain fascinated by this incredible woman. A pioneer and women’s advocate long before it was hip.

I’m reflecting on her currently as the old year ends and a new year approaches. Last year brought me many things: love come and gone more times that I would like to count. Ever evolving relations with my daughters. But the event that really stands out for me was my car accident. That pivotal moment seems to have changed me in a large way and has set me on a course of change.

Like Amelia, I am feeling very ready for something different–I’m not sure if it is quite the adventure she had in mind. But today with the ever unsteady economy, just a job change can be the equivalent of flying off into the unknown. It’s a risky move. I have clung onto the security of what I have done for many years, but unhappily so, and with each passing day I long for something different. I see and sense the new horizons calling to me.

As we get older, it becomes very difficult to try for ‘new adventures’. Whether they be new jobs, school or a business venture. Money can be an issue, lack of the proper qualifications, trying to balance paying for your current life while you invest in the new life. It’s all pretty tricky and can easily get discouraging. And that’s why we see so many ‘second-halfer’s’ like me simply staying put and not following their bliss. Or sometimes we simply can’t figure out what the next move should be. I get stuck in that place quite often.

But I do know that in this New Year I do want to see change. I am ready to don my flying goggles and cap, wrap my scarf around my neck and put myself behind the wheel of that biplane. I want to charge off toward the horizon and seek that new adventure. I know it’s out there! And maybe when I do, I will find Amelia and thank her for inspiring me to spread my wings.

Twas The Night Before Christmas…


It’s Christmas eve and I sit in a house empty of humans. I’m surrounded by my three dogs. I’ve just checked my Facebook and am dismayed to see, once again, the tragedy that has crashed around this world. Close to home a fellow EMT and past Chief of mine just lost his brother and niece to a house fire. And the other family members are now recovering in a hospital from smoke inhalation. They also lost their home. An incredible tragedy–and right before the holiday.

Also two fire fighters were called to a home where they were shot and killed by a man. He was a convicted killer, having killed his grandmother years ago. He was out from prison. Now their families have lost their loved ones this holiday season. Not to mention the countless deaths around the globe that happen on a daily basis.

I had a very small get together tonight and I realized that much of our talk revolved around depressing talk. Gun control, kids dying, mental illness, and how life has changed. It was all sad and unseasonable! Why is the holiday season like this now? Why is life like this now? And how can we/I change it?

It will be a new year very soon and I refuse to be sucked into the maelstrom of fear and sadness. We as a collective group must stop this conveyor belt that we are on. We must believe that we can get back to the days of innocence, joy, trust, and happiness. If we can individually start believing and send a ripple through to the next person and on and on, then it can become reality.

So that is my Christmas wish and my hope for the New Year: to live my life in joy and peace. To do the things that make me happy and spread that happiness to others. I will try hard not to be upset and Iwill live without fear. I will face each day with the hope that my fellow humans will want what I want too and that the world can slowly start to be a better place.

Merry Christmas.