Mother’s Day 2014

This Mother’s day was quite wonderful for a change! It was the first real day I could get out in the New England warmth and uncover all my flower beds. I tugged and pulled away all last year’s old growth, decaying leaves and twisty vines and let the fresh new buds and greens breathe and face their happy selves towards the sun. Two out of three of my daughters have made contact (which may be a record), and my youngest even gave me a lovely scarf. She and I walked on a local trail with all the pups, including her new puppy (my grand-dog) and it was great.

But the real highlight of my weekend was spending time with an old and dear friend.

Sometimes, like with our gardens, we have to clear away stuff that isn’t of any use to us anymore so we may grow again. And sometimes it takes drastic measures or distance or even a shaking up of something to see the forest for the trees. Such was this friendship.

I met this friend close to three years ago at a relay running race. I was the Captain for the EMT’s and he was a Transition Area Captain. My job is to hop from one transition area (TA) to another to make sure my EMT’s are there and all set. When I got to this particular one, where he was captain, I was standing near him (unbeknownst to me) talking to my EMT. He was kneeling hammering in a tent-peg. Almost simultaneously I looked down and he looked up and he said to me: will you marry me? And I said: yes. This without ever have spoken a word to each other before in our lives.

It was a funny, but telling, moment. From there we laughed and spoke and got to know each other for a bit. And I then moved on. At the end of the race, we talked a lot more and found out we had a lot in common. He was due to go into the Peace Corps in a number of months. I had intended on going, but circumstances lead me to be unable to do it. There were other things too–we were kindred spirits!

By the end of the race and night, it was like we had known each other a lifetime! When we had to part ways, there was a quick kiss goodbye and a promise to keep in touch. Which we did, and became best friends.

The next months though were challenging. He questioned going into the PC because of our relationship, but I was in a very bad space emotionally. Sadly, I wasn’t as good to him as I should have been and he decided going was the thing to do.

In the two plus years he was there, the communication became sparse. Our lives went on. But soon after he left I had my accident. And of course, everything happens for a reason.

He learned a lot while he was gone, mostly about himself. And I’ve learned so much about myself too–much due to my accident. This weekend was so interesting for both of us. I know I wondered if he would notice any changes in me, but we are close enough and the gap of time made it obvious. And I certainly saw he had grown too.

It is so wonderful to have my friend back and to know that sometimes the good things stay just under the surface ready to grow again once you rake away the stuff that was weighing it all down. And that true friends are willing to see the heart of who’s inside of you, help you fertilize your soul, forgive the weeds that may tangle up your psyche now and again and throw sunshine on the days ahead.

Happy Mother’s Day!


A Poem For Mother’s Day

I heard a poem read on the Writer’s Almanac yesterday and it seemed so poignant to my life. It’s funny how things seem to float into our lives just when we need them. Recently it feels as though I have been having difficult relationships with past and current family members of mine. The communication lines are breaking down and every attempted discussion seems to break down into some sort of argument. This is never what I intend and I am not usually doing the arguing. Mean words have been said to me as of late by more folks than I would like to mention. Some that should still be considered close and one that once was very near and dear. Another me might have taken all this to heart and become very depressed or self-blaming. And the fact that Mother’s Day is tomorrow, my sadness would have been huge. But this is a new me and I am handling it all with strength and wisdom. The poem I am going to share meant so much. It’s amazing to me how someone can ┬áso perfectly express the things I am feeling in just a short piece, with simple words strung together! But then, that is the beauty of good writing. Happy Mother’s Day.

The Land of Beginning Again

by Louisa Fletcher

I wish that there were some wonderful place
In the Land of Beginning Again.
Where all our mistakes and all our heartaches
And all of our poor selfish grief
Could be dropped like a shabby old coat at the door
and never put on again.
I wish we could come on it all unaware,
Like the hunter who finds a lost trail;
And I wish that the one whom our blindness had done
The greatest injustice of all
Could be there at the gates
like an old friend that waits
For the comrade he’s gladdest to hail.
We would find all the things we intended to do
But forgot, and remembered too late,
Little praises unspoken, little promises broken,
And all the thousand and one
Little duties neglected that might have perfected
The day for one less fortunate.
It wouldn’t be possible not to be kind
In the Land of Beginning Again,
And the ones we misjudged
and the ones whom we grudged
their moments of victory here,
Would find in the grasp of our loving hand-clasp
More than penitent lips could explain…
So I wish that there were some wonderful place
Called the Land of Beginning Again,
Where all our mistakes and all our heartaches,
And all of our poor selfish grief
Could be dropped like a shabby old coat at the door
And never put on again.