Waiting For The Miracle

Look deep inside the flower for it’s magic

Are any of you like me? Do you day-dream about the day the miracle will come into your life? Sometimes I feel I am so foolish as I sit in front of my meditation table and think about miracles…day after day, wondering, hoping.

I am hoping too Mommy

I guess we/I do this when there is something missing in our lives. It can be something we know is missing like for me, my birth family…  My eyes close and the miracle dream starts to congeal where the email or unknown phone number appears on my phone and it’s that long-lost relative who has finally found me.


Or maybe it’s one of those miracles you’re not really sure about, but if it came to you then you’d know it was meant to be, because isn’t that what miracles are all about after all? That life-companion you’ve been waiting for, the one that the movies show you turn up in the most unlikely places (but really don’t)–the person that finally is your best friend and is for real.


How about the miracle of waking up every day and being able to say: I can’t wait to go to work–I love what I do and I’m doing something worthwhile and important. Knowing that it’s not ‘just a job’ to collect a paycheck. Maybe someone you talk to, some ‘connection’ will notice your talents and simply say: hey, I have the perfect position for you…and you can just slip right into it without the trials and pains it usually takes.

Rainbows everywhere!

These are all personal miracles I know–selfish and needy. There are world miracles too that would take all the magic in the Universe to fix. I ask for these too….believe me. And I don’t forget the gratitude for the good things I already do have…


But once in a while, I just wish for a tiny bit more magic. That little spark that will ignite the unknown. Maybe some miracle I don’t even know I need. When life becomes mundane and routine, we must look for this glitter–see the potential behind the curtain.


And be unafraid to hope for our own miracles.

Sea-horse on land!


How many times in life do we wait? If we think about it, we probably spend most of our lives waiting for something! Sometimes good things, sometimes bad things–but it seems like minutes, days, weeks are spent simply waiting….


  • For the bus or a friend to take us to work; or our car to warm up.
  • The divorce papers to go through or the wedding date to arrive.
  • Nine months of wondering what sex the baby will be or wading through the adoption proceedings, or if the in-vitro took.
  • Wondering if the kid will ever be potty trained and then if they will ever grow up to be respectful, loving adults.
  • For vacation to come–or even the weekend.
  • The doctor’s call with results of the tests.
  • Months of treatments and sickness to be over.
  • One more minute of sobriety turning into years.
  • Enough money.
  • Your birth family to show up one day.
  • Morning to arrive and a glorious sunrise/bedtime after a grueling day.
  • The kids to all get along.
  • Forgiveness.
  • Waking up every day with joy and no worries.
  • Never looking back.
  • For your dog to actually talk.
  • The end of that triathlon, marathon, 5K.
  • Life to really begin.
  • The perfect blog piece.
  • The yelling to stop or the bruises to heal.
  • Summer to come or maybe winter if you like snow.
  • A miracle.


How many more? What are you waiting for…? We wait for so much!

It feels like we’re often standing on the edge of a cliff and we don’t know what’s down below. But as we get closer, our heart thumps in our chests and peering over can be the death of us. So, we must just stand back and be patient–something that is not a virtue of mine!

Today I wait to hear the final word on the new job. Nothing huge really in the grand scheme of the list, but for some reason I feel nervous. Sleeping will be hard tonight–I’ll be up tossing and turning and, well, waiting. Why couldn’t they have emailed today?

But such is life: dots of doing little things connected by endless moments of waiting. So that, my blogging friends, is what I will continue to do…..



I’ve taken up yoga. I’m teaching myself with DVD’s which I’m sure most yoga teachers would say isn’t a good way to learn, but with limited money and time, it’s all I’ve got right now. And it’s better than not doing yoga at all! This I know for a fact because the yoga is changing me.

Normally I’m a very Type A person, and while I’m sure that will never completely change, the yoga is helping to keep it somewhat in check. It’s helping to remind me to breathe in the midst of the commotion of my life. And it helps me to be quiet when my head loops with thoughts that won’t settle.  I’m also trying to use it to calm me when my sense of justice has been rankled and I feel myself getting heated. For once I am now just able to let things go and move on without having to let everyone know what I feel about something. Usually anyway.

The changes are subtle I’m sure, but for me they feel monumental.  I sense a clarity within myself that is opening up pathways to parts of me long forgotten. At times I will suddenly recall something from the past and it will hit me like a mental photograph. Sometimes smells are involved or sounds. It’s so incredibly fascinating that it borders on spooky. But I attribute it to what one of the yoga teachers says: surrender. I am surrendering to my subconscious as well as my physical limits and I am reshaping myself.

With this metamorphosis though, I am feeling pushed more than ever to want to move in new directions in my life! In the past this feeling was always more a feeling of discontent rather than a feeling of harmony and expansion. Today I know I am growing and my past life no longer fits who I am.  So many signals and signs keep appearing that point in the direction of movement in my life.  Plus there are so many points of utter contentment that I feel which were never there before, so I know I am ready, awakened and open.

The only part holding me back is that external factors may be at play to keep me from going off in leaps and bounds to a potentially blissfully new life.  The economy keeps so many of us now stranded in situations that we must continue to plod along within. As a homeowner I have a mortgage and a home I can’t unload. Plus I do love my home. It’s also extremely hard to leave a job nowadays and charge off into another one for the same rate of pay, benefits etc. when you have bills to pay and you only have a certain expertise.

I’ve turned options over and over, put my house on the market numerous times and applied for jobs. Nothing has panned out. I keep waiting for my miracle. But I just know I am so ready for something new. I’m finally at that place where it will all come together and I can get up every morning and put my feet on the floor and be happy to be alive and going to a  job that I love.

I’m changing and within that changing, big and small things hopefully will happen. I will make all the good things come to me finally and be the whole person I need to be. And then I will change the world.