Go Easy…


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Sometimes thinking about the past is appropriate, especially when you get news about someone that meant something to you, even if you haven’t spent much time with them in recent years.

Families are such slippery things–they are fragile and sometimes easily shattered. They also are defined by many different things, not just by blood. And often the ones that aren’t put together by blood can mean more. We define them ourselves.

When the some things that created them, like a marriage, dissolve, then they seem to disappear too–at least in the physical sense. But we may realize, especially at critical moments, they still linger within deeper parts of us; that these people who were once family are still dear.

So when I heard my ex-father-in-law is now in hospice, I found myself extremely sad. He was someone who had been very good to me while I was married. It’s been easy to recall so many memories of the kind things about him: his easy acceptance of our decision to adopt a HIV positive child, and his special love for her. And his overly enthusiastic attitude (and long conversations and questions) about my career as an EMT/Paramedic, something I didn’t always feel at home from his son. He loved the stuff!

I picture him as the typical unassuming New England man, quiet but always willing to help; that crooked smile, bald head and slight limp. He was my go to guy, always aware of what was happening with the weather, and loving to talk about it.

Maybe he’s not officially ‘family’ anymore, but in my heart he will always hold a very special place as he made me feel welcome and a part. I felt like family because of him.

Thank you, and may the rest of your days be easy…

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Ironic??


Is it ironic that I saw this Mockingbird perched upon the American flag  today: July 4th, 2017 given the state of our nation?

Maybe this bird understands something many folks seem to be missing these days….

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

Poem/Song: Tango River


bridge 1

We danced a tango river

where winding waters flowed

And the moon glow ripples

made our heartbeats slow

 

Back when summer moons were fuller

as we floated through the night

Rocking closely to the rhythm

gazing star eyed at the light

 

We danced a tango river

where winding waters flow

And the moon glow ripples

made our heartbeats slow

 

You rocked me in a cradle

of gently loving arms

And you held me like forever

So I never came to harm

 

We danced a tango river

where winding waters flow

And the moon glow ripples

made our heartbeats slow

 

So my sweet partner

it’s with you I want to dance

Let’s drift away together

and take the rivers chance

 

We danced a tango river

where winding waters flow

And the moon glow ripples

made our heartbeats slow

 

And the moon glow ripples

made our heartbeats slow

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Note: I picture this as a song somehow, but unfortunately, I can’t write music. The first line came to me in the middle of the night as my writing often does… I wish I could put it to music somehow….

Poem: Lured


The ripped raw slash

of disappointment

cuts me

A wounded animal

once again dragging

my leg pulled from

the trap

It was the sweet smell of bait

luring me to the center

as I sniffed my way

to the heart of doom

Each time coming away

more caked with sap

leaking from torn open

disillusionments

from crawling toward you

even knowing

you would never understand

 

Poem: So Real


Walking imagined 

in paradise lands

of well dreamed corridors 

where truths are revealed 

and grandiose bed fellows 

are ready to woo

with long wished word songs 

given as tender 

Where do they lead

these grasped at beauties

created and carved 

from the stone cold wanting 

The touch of their colors 

and scent through the soul

is so real

so real 

Living in drifts 

floating beyond 

It is Paradise 

Paradise 

and it is so real

Poem: Overheating 


It’s  burnt orange 

and peeled back 

sometimes so thick with scars 

it hardly knows how to beat

its way through 

incoming traffic 

Words that are tossed

uninvited guests 

landing in places 

too close to the center 

confusing the rhythm 

and making all the other parts

heat up

so they run 

all wrong 

Poem: The Bandit 


Bandit

you stole from me

when I wasn’t looking 

too busy not wanting 

wrapped up in it can’t happen

But there you were

digging away 

at my center 

until I surrendered 

And now maybe 

you have found me

buried under the debris 

scratching away long enough 

for me to be revealed 

So stay

don’t wander away 

or think of stealing bits

of me

and hiding them 

somewhere else 

Poem: Imposter 


Do you only show 

a portion 

of your double down 

passing through 

flight

That glossy part

all sassy 

and sexy

waiting for the first 

one to rip you out 

into the open 

and call your bluff

Better you just

flaunt those

rip tide colors

up front 

so I know your flow

and how the current 

might hazard me

away