Don’t Fight The Good Fight


Do you remember the old song that had the lyrics: “I fought the law and the law won”….

Well, I sort of feel like this…not exactly that I have been fighting the law, but a similar looming entity in America that, to me at least, now just feels like a gigantic monster that no longer has the capabilities, abilities or desire to do what it originally was set up to do.

Can you guess?? It’s health care. For months now I have been trying to schedule a routine mammogram and have been getting nowhere. Or maybe it’s more accurate to say I have been lead down the dark alleyways of jargon, insurance codes, doctor referrals (or refusals to do so), authorization and the inability of one organization to speak to another –therefore leaving me, the patient, in the middle….

….With no idea what anyone is talking about. I’m in the unfortunate situation of being on Obamacare (or not, depending on how you see this), so the waters become very murky;more shady than usual. No doctors take it where I live, so most everywhere I go is an out-of-pocket expense.  I have it mostly for my one medication. But my understanding was that a routine mammo was covered…. So, I was determined to GET it covered!

After fighting with my doctor, and central scheduling, then trying Planned Parenthood, then central scheduling again, then speaking with Blue Cross at least three times and getting three different stories (all of this over and over)…. and this all after having three appointments scheduled and canceled over a period of months—I decided enough.

Healthcare? I was losing my mind. This all was causing me so much stress; I couldn’t sleep. I’ve had a concern too and really needed this mammo yet was getting nowhere! Only two people I spoke to on this entire messed up journey were actually sympathetic. Most either could barely speak English or just read off a script, and contradicted each other. One I actually spoke to her manager to compliment her because I had to talk to her so many times; she at least seemed to care.

So finally, I made a decision because I could see the fight was leading me to a dead-end and draining me of energy. It would be yet another out-of-pocket expense… I would just have to pay for the thing myself. And miraculously I had an appointment the next day!

I guess the moral of the story is that they wear you down until you succumb. Maybe this is part of the plan now. Read the small print…. If they can drive you crazy and stress you out bad enough over enough years, maybe you will die sooner.

So anyway, I fought the healthcare system and I lost bad….

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You Never Know….


Well, sometimes things don’t go the way you expect, but they go the way they are meant to I suppose.

On my way into work my Doctor’s office called with the results from my MRI of my right arm. I’ve been suffering from lots of pain, loss of movement and lack of sleep. I honestly feared the worse, but as a typical healthcare worker, I have been in avoidance mode. It’s my right arm, my dominant one, and the thought of being out of commission for any length of time is so scary to me!

But, I could wait no longer and went. And the results were in: deep tissue tear in my rotator cuff and degenerative scarring in my bicep . In other words, not good! And most likely surgery–rotator cuff surgery. Blah.

So with this news, I drove to work ready to give my notice–knowing that I would lose my insurance. Double blah.

I left the letter anyway, because mental health is important too! And I’ve suffered there enough. With all the support of friends, family and you bloggers, I was prepared to do what I had to do.

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My immediate supervisor got my ‘love note’ as she called it and brought me into her office. She asked what prompted it and then got the big boss in too. I just ranted about all the stuff I felt: the disrespect, the yelling, the complaining etc. And about the good job I do. They agreed that none of the bad stuff should be happening and that I DO a good job. She wondered why I hadn’t called her when it happened the other night…

Hmmm, I didn’t know I could actually, and would it have changed anything? She assured me they have a zero tolerance policy for this kind of behavior from Doctors or anyone. They agreed to take care of it.

Will it help or will it be worse with that particular Doctor now? I don’t know. But what I do know is that losing my insurance at this juncture would be devastating financially. I’m not sure if these people really think I’m so all fired terrific or if they are just really desperate for employees to sit at that front desk. It’s a pretty rotten job and not a lot of people want to do it.

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They are putting me back on days next week which is good. I like it better and my desk mate is much easier to work around. It’s also better for my pets and me. So that will help. So for now, I take it one day at a time and see what happens…

And while I can still type, I say: thanks for all your support! xo