Little Thoughts


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When thoughts start to clutter my mind now, especially ones that take me away from the present, this is my new mantra:

I am here now; I am alive; I am healthy; I am grateful.

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“Extended bliss is boredom of the existential kind.” from the book NutShell  By Ian McEwan.

If People Were More Like Dogs


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They would take the time to play more

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They would spend less time gossiping and more time listening

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When they were afraid, they would just go hide for a bit instead of becoming bullies

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They would take lots of naps so they would always be well rested and not stressed out all the time

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They would love other species like family

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They would smile more

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They’d be OK with their bodies

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They would learn to wait patiently and to trust

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And to forgive and forget

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They would learn to love those different from themselves

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And that love is unconditional

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That you just walk away, rather than fight if you get angry

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And that territories are defined by sniffs and pee not walls or bombs

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That most of us aren’t purebred anyway, but we are just as wonderful

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That everyone just wants a home

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That we should save our voice only for the important things

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If when we were frustrated, we took it out on our own stuff, not other’s….

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That tongues are not for lashing, but for kisses and we are each unique in our own crazy way

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And if our lives were as short and precious as theirs, maybe, just maybe we would live more fully, play harder, rest more deeply, love more expansively, trust more easily, be careful not to destroy stuff and even share all we had…. For they are gone so quickly, but leave with us lessons that we carry forever.

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So they will continue to play

And we will continue to struggle

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But maybe one day we’ll tip our head close enough to theirs so we can really listen to what they’ve been trying to tell us all along.

 

Jewel


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Now it is just long gone memories where we walk together, still close, feeling those moments nearby again. As we speak, the recapture, bringing present the feelings shared in a time of love and family. The falling into each other and the brave actions of daring to create, to take on labels that we each feared had forsaken us from the past. To love was to move outside, to step into something beyond the confines of our own mistrust and give. There was much there, in spite of youth, so much depth and connection. Much was formed, both in me and around us. The union spawned beauty and burned brightly.

And for this I give thanks. Searching the catacombs of the past, all is now just treasure. This will be kept, like an Emperor’s jewel, in the museum of my mind.

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The Good Battle


There are certain moments in life where we are given a gift that sets us free. News that lifts us high and helps us to remember life is good and beautiful. Lately I have been given many of these moments and for them I am truly grateful.

It is so easy, with our fast paced, whirlwind lives, to take life for granted. To forget our connection to family and friends. We press on so hard into our daily tasks that we may not stop to look around us to see the wonders that abound. They are all around if we just take a second to see them.

Feeling compelled by life to have material wealth, we sometimes lose spiritual well-being. We take jobs that make us unhappy or keep people near us that really prove to have negative energy.

Because I am getting older and finally see the wisdom in serenity rather than money, my choices from now on will be very different.
This is my promise to myself.

As my Mother heals, I reflect on my good fortune to be able to be near her and help get her stronger. It is a blessing that such an awful thing can actually turn out to be something wonderful because it has bonded us so closely together. She is an amazing woman and together we are invincible.

And I also got a new lease on life today, which I will not take for granted. I’m grateful because I know that not everyone is as lucky as I am. I wish it could be so for all whom I love. But together we fight the good battle, and we’ll win anyway.

Because in the end, our spirits will all collide and meet somewhere someday anyway…….

Critical Moment


It’s time like these when we face a critical moment in our lives or the life of someone we love, that we can see the truth of so many things. We can look back on our path and see all the silly things that angered us, that in the end were really unimportant. And we see all the current beautiful friends that stick by us through any difficulty we may encounter.


Facing our mortality is never an easy thing. Knowing we may be left behind, though, even worse. But if the person who leaves does so in peace and has acknowledged a life well lived, then going on is not as bitter.

So many things can come into perspective during these stressful times. Like how much we love someone or how insignificant some things (or people) can be. We learn who the really good and true people are and who the ones are that really never cared.

I’m blessed with so many amazing and wonderful people. My Mother taught me to care about people: to accept them based on inner things by asking them questions and learning who they were–and truly loving others. She has taught me to be a good friend too by having many herself.

Now is the time where things are revealed. Layers are peeled back and what I may have thought was a certain way, really wasn’t. I see with new eyes and I am grateful.

 

70 Years Young!!


This is what my co-worker posted on the white board about my birthday today! Happy birthday to me…  ha ha, because I’m really 60 today and he likes to be funny. But with me dancing around and that post, plenty of folks knew today was the day that I  tipped over into a new decade.

Usually I let these things slide, but since this one seemed fairly monumental to me, I let my mouth rip. I mean, sheesh, I recall feeling like my Grandma was way old when she was in her sixties! And wouldn’t you know, time just plundered on ahead and here I am! How the heck did that happen pray tell?


My high school friends and I have been scratching our heads (and looking in the mirrors) and wondering where all those years went. One of them just sent me a picture of my HS principal/geology teacher. For goodness sake, he’s 91 years old! He looked fantastic mind you, but 91 years old?! That’s nuts!

But even though I went to work, it’s been a great day so far. Some of my co-workers got me gifts….it was amazing and incredibly touching! Man, after 8 years of working at my old job, you had to die for anyone to pay attention. Two gals in the scheduling part of our OR came up behind me (very unusual) and I turned around from my desk. I said: wow, I’m being stalked by schedulers (I really had no idea what was going on). One is pretty serious, so she said: Yup, you made a really big mistake booking a case. My heart was pounding in my chest and I got so upset. Then the said: Happy Birthday, and they gave me the nicest gifts! I was shocked. It was so sweet!! Even my bosses got me something and another wonderful gal who gave me the book the other day.


And as I was leaving a bunch of them chimed in to a rendition of: Happy Birthday to you, you live in the zoo…. I changed it to: I work in the zoo… All in all, very touching. With hugs, fist bumps and all that…. So maybe I’m getting there and work is becoming more and more an accepting place.

On the home front, a huge package from a dear old friend, cards and best of all:

Calls from all three of my wonderful daughters! I even was remembered by someone I’ve been out of contact with for quite some time.

Mom and I will go out tomorrow to dinner too. I’m lucky to have this day, because it’s often a 3 day weekend. Yippee.

Let’s hope it’s a wonderful decade. Better than the last because that one was a bit tough. Now I’m really moving into the crone years: hopefully the wisdom will start to really come, the patience, the contentment and I’ll be walking the right path. Thanks to you all for you continued support on this blogging journey of mine!!

 

 

Just A Good Day


Today was such an interesting day at work. So different from my first 3 days. I learned more of my actual job, sat at my actual station, observed ‘the group’ in all their glory, made some simple phone calls, spoke on the over head intercom, played on the computer and was generally was immersed. You could say that I began to peep outside my shell.

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But my biggest triumph came as I was leaving work. It was unexpected and completely rewarding, and it made me feel like maybe the job will work for me after all. (Yesterday I wasn’t sure for a variety of reasons actually).

You see, I had left the building and was heading to my car in the parking garage when I noticed an elderly woman struggling in a parking lot walking with a walker. I approached her and asked if she needed any help. She was clearly distressed and relayed to me that she was trying to find her husband, who had fallen and was brought to rehab. She was lost and had no idea where to find him.

Now mind you, I have no idea where to find anything either, but I was determined to help! So I assured her that together we would find him and that she shouldn’t worry. She told me he was 92, that she was upset with his doctor, that her daughter was sick also. The poor woman was very nearly in tears.

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So the next person that came along, I asked where the rehab center was and luckily it was right nearby. We walked together there, but the woman was sure it wasn’t the right place as she didn’t recognize it. But I convinced her to go in any way so we could hopefully figure out where her husband might be. Meanwhile she was getting very anxious and upset.

When we got inside, I explained the situation to the receptionist and she checked, but found he wasn’t there. Some of the volunteers situated nearby suggested that he may actually have been brought to the nearby nursing home from the description the woman had given. Rather than make her drive there to find out, we decided to call it, so one of the volunteers looked up the number on her phone and I placed the call.

Sure enough, the missing husband was there! She was relieved, but now we had to figure out how to get her there. After discussion (I didn’t know where it was), it was decided that the volunteer would go in the woman’s car and then walk back–apparently it wasn’t far. The woman was very happy, because she was pretty much at the end of her rope.

She thanked me profusely, which was better than any paycheck I could have earned today! And I thought that even though I’m no longer a paramedic, I still got an opportunity to help someone out. It was pretty cool. It’s in line with the hospital’s code of customer service too–so it was all good. All in all, a pretty satisfying day!

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