a few rungs
short of happiness
But as the fire breath
singe neck hairs
It is quite an
a few rungs
short of happiness
But as the fire breath
singe neck hairs
It is quite an
breathing soft air
and ascend behind flashing eyelids
from egos gravitational lure
Climbing over yesterdays clutter
a wraith rising
through the worldly walls
to wander upon higher plains
drifting in dark spirals of space
tiny bits of astral dust
I shine and hover
as humming of the cosmos
levitates me till
the end of time
How to be open
when life is caving in
or to give
when so much
The fires are lit
and souls are drowning
the earth is folding in
trying to get away
left at the
who have abandoned
We are now
to swirl in our own
or to beg
for them to create us
Lately, in keeping with all the inner work I’ve been doing and with the great changes coming out of the last few years of my life, it has naturally moved me back to the more spiritual side of myself. In my past, the spiritual plane was almost equal to the plane in which I lived on a daily ‘normal’ basis. This meant I often felt very in tune with so much more around me and on a much deeper level: people, animals, the natural landscape and of course: the mystical.
Then, the course of my life got in the way, and this beautiful and magical part of my life slipped away without me really noticing. The spiritual habits that I had practiced left me; all the ‘unexplained coincidences’ that would so often pop up joyfully in my life seemed to disappear and life just became a dull and routine existence.
Like so many of us, the tether to the unknown–to that thing beyond us–(call it what you may), isn’t always there unless you are really looking or open to it. Many just don’t believe, being simply too rooted in reality.
But we all have our own scopes of what reality may be. And I know that my reality had encompassed many things which could not be explained by scientific or simple explanations. You just had to be there to understand. To have faith in the powers and energies that flow. And I did.
So the time has gently begun to seem right, bit by bit, to reemerge within my spiritual self. To put back on my garland crown and flowing robes and step back into the circle once again. And I feel my power returning like an old friend. It was just waiting for my call.
My dreams have been full of visions, visitations and clarity. I use a dream book that I have to help interpret them and I’ve been writing them down in my journal, along with other long and inspired thoughts about my journey.
My interactions with people feel more purposeful and I am often drawn into deep conversations on a sidewalk with neighbors. Seeing people now brings me warmth rather than anxiety and I’m happy to share these moments and feel they are all meaningful.
Most things now feel part of my plan, that I am drawing all things to me. Some days I pick a tarot card to see what it might say, and often it will reflect what I have been feeling during my meditation. That nothing is random: I am creating this reality around me.
It has a been a very long walk to this place of inner peace; to be able to shrug off the demon within each time it threatens to claw its way to the surface. And now that I am dancing on my spiritual path once again, my peace is sweeter: for finally I can hear the music of the Universe with my whole soul.
It seems that humans through the ages love to dress in costume. Either for ritual or fun, humans have used feathers, paint, colorful cloth, beads and anything they can get their hands on to disguise their normal form.
Long ago it may have been to appease Gods or Goddesses or to look like an animal they were thanking to try to bring down for a hunt. Getting into the spirit of the being may have made this creature closer to the human and therefore better able to communicate with it. Or maybe it was dressing like the spirits from the other world, using the ancestral imagination, dreams and stories to create the human form into something other worldly.
Even now women continue to paint their faces (and men too) just to leave their house for a normal day out, hoping to look better or different–using the magic of makeup to create a new face.We play dress-up, bedeck ourselves with jewels, tattoos and fancy hair–maybe to try to be the fanciest beast in the jungle.
Whenever given the chance, it seems many jump at the chance to be in character, someone other than who they normally are, and come onto the world’s stage as someone new: more glamorous, sexier, crazier, colorful or just a character they love.
So this time of year is not only fun for kids, but adults alike. It’s the time to shed your persona and be someone else. Who do you long to be? What is the other side of you that you don’t show but behind a costume comes out full force? Because when you put one on it allows you to set your personality free.
So in keeping with my love of miniatures and my intrigue with many religious symbols, I was drawn recently to a couple of Catholic medals. I also wondered if they were old (I’m drawn to vintage also) which made me ponder who might have owned them previously.
Knowing very little about the Catholic faith, I have no clue about these, although I can guess. There is writing on them, but it’s so tiny (and I can’t find my magnifying glass), so I can’t read what it says. I googled them, but couldn’t find anything just like them.
Anyone out there who can help me? I’d love to know as much as you can tell me. They are very precious.
Tonight I heard a very disturbing piece on NPR that I had never heard before about the Space shuttle Challenger. It’s the 30th anniversary of the fateful day of its explosion. I suppose it’s slightly personal, because the teacher on board who died also taught in the state from where I have just recently moved.
Anyway….NPR did an interview tonight with an engineer who had apparently warned NASA that it would not be safe to send the ship up because of the low temperatures. He and another engineer (now dead) apparently repeatedly warned them not to launch as it wouldn’t be safe. And yet, they did. And we all know the sad outcome–sad because I guess it didn’t have to happen if they had only waited.
The really hard part of this newscast was that the engineer who is still alive, now 89 years old, has lived with huge guilt his whole life! What he said during his interview brought me to tears–it was literally heartbreaking that he felt it was his fault that those people died because he didn’t make it clear enough to NASA that they shouldn’t fly! The poor man. He felt God picked the wrong man to have the information about the fated flight to pass on….
But in truth, probably no-one could have changed the outcome. Certainly when dealing with a machine like NASA, stopping the wheels of something like a launch would probably take an act of God–not some lowly engineer telling them they shouldn’t do something! No-one 30 years ago figured out why they didn’t listen–and who knows? It could have been any dumb reason. And maybe there are better checks in place now since the space program isn’t what it used to be and doesn’t have the money to spare blowing up space crafts randomly.
I heard arguments over the years that yes, it was very sad about a civilian getting killed, but on the other hand she did sign up for it. Some people feel there are other more important things to feel sad about: like poverty and kids going hungry. Yes, that certainly makes sense to me.
Let’s face it though: no-one should have to die needlessly! And no-one should have to carry around the burden of 30 years of guilt because other people turned a deaf ear.
So the moral of the story for me is: Whatever we are doing, in whatever job: big or small or even our every day interactions with each other–we all just need to listen! Because you never know when someone says that one important thing that may just end up being something that could end up changing the course of someone else’s life–hopefully in a good way!
Let’s take the time, slow down and just…listen. Even if you are a huge corporation!! After all, they are just made up of individual people, just like the ones that died wanting to go home to the people they loved!
Humanity leaves the mark of a dark soul
left right alone leaving marks
in damp dimpled sand
A crazed shooter
entering The House — a circle mandala
Unbeknownst witnesses praying to a God
who needed more entrants
Into His beckoning home
The solid rock of hatred
seems broad hard and unbreakable
But it too turns to bits of earth and dust
pushed by one tiny stick or shovel
Held by hands of love
Broken down bits and pieces
of raindrops and dew
The solitude of misunderstanding
furrowed into fields of friendships
So one day we may all walk
In one another’s shoes
Not everyone believes in it, even if we all can relate to the cute little sayings like: “Instead of ‘Have a nice day’ I think I’ll start saying ‘Have the day you deserve’ You know, let Karma sort that s$%t out”.
Yes Karma. I wonder about it a lot, and what’s my Karma. There are many who also believe (me included) that we create our own realities: positive attitudes create positive lives–and the opposite. But can we really beat Karma? Sometimes I wonder.
I’ve worked very hard in the last years to create a positive life; with meditation, eating well, yoga, exercise, trying to be kind and grateful. And yet, many things just don’t seem to go my way. This does make me wonder.
I started out in this world as a baby, with no real consciousness about Karma or how to be positive or how to create any particular lifestyle. And when I was 18 months old my family walked away from me. Why do these things happen to a particular human? What lesson does that particular human learn from such an act, and the ripple effects afterwards that set you on a path for the rest of your life.
Much of my life seemed to follow a particular pattern of ‘aloneness’. I have flipped this pattern inside out and looked at it from all sides. Did I chose it, or did it chose me? Is there a past life Karmic experience that landed within my spirit that hovers around me? Even when I do my best to shake being alone, it comes running back like my best friend.
Many of us may look at continuing patterns in our lives and wonder why they keep playing out when we may do our best to break them. Are they stalking us because of Karma? Or are we just not reading enough self-help books on how to make the best of this life?
I suppose I will keep going forward toward an unknown future. It may be cloaked in a destiny that one may call God or one may call something else like Karma. If I can create my own destiny, I sure as heck want to try, but some days I feel like that rainbow trout swimming up that flooded river. And maybe it’s just life telling me that it’s my Karma to be right where I am.