Friday was a pretty miserable day for me. It started out poorly and got worse! As many of you following my blog know, a friend’s house has burned recently and I had tried to set up a fund at a bank. A customer service rep there had specifically told me it was OK to post the account number on social media, the newspaper or wherever. This sounded odd to me, but hey, she was the expert. So we did it! The next day I received a call from their fraud department saying it was definitely NOT OK and making it sound like I was the idiot. I was very upset about the whole thing and went the next day to fix it. The very same rep was there, but as a teller. She was happy to see me and wanted to help, but I asked for someone else. When I told her this, she because very upset and wanted to know why. I didn’t want to get into there on the floor, but she pressed so I told her. She insisted she was right and that’s when I got upset and said I didn’t want to talk about it.
I ended up going behind a closed-door with a more senior (and older rep) and voiced my complaint and it was fixed. But on Friday my Chief calls me in his office to ask if I had dropped the “F” bomb in the bank!? Well, I’m no Saint, and I was upset, but heck, I’m not so stupid that I would say something like that, IN UNIFORM, in public! He said a woman in town had heard me, with her own ears mind you, and called to complain! But the best part is–she posted it on Facebook!
So I gave up Facebook a while ago, and this is a very reason I did. This kind of mean and nasty spreading of untrue gossip. She had put my name and everything! Whoa. I was flabbergasted to say the least. My Chief wasn’t worried because he knew it wasn’t like me to do such a thing! Speaking with the senior person, she verified I hadn’t also. Later in the day the big manager came to the station to smooth everything over. I was quite upset, but apparently the young rep was more upset and was supposed to eventually apologize.
But this was not the end of my day. Before I left, there was yet another incident with a young EMT who is new to our department and feels the rules do not apply to him. He has been butting heads with me (and others) and is a bit of an instigator. Sadly, one of the folks he has been instigating with is a woman I’ve had issue with in the past and have worked hard to gain a healthy relationship. Long and short of it, it all came to a head right before I left for what was planned to be a very wonderful weekend. There was much swearing and head butting on his end and lots of disrespect. I tried to talk, but found myself just getting frustrated and nowhere. Our Captain had no abilities to control the situation, so I left, drained and bewildered.
Both incidences were so out of the blue: accusations from people I barely know, belittling my nature, dishonest statements were made about things I absolutely did not say. Admittedly if there’s one thing that yanks my crank is being falsely accused! But I decided I would not let it ruin my weekend and LET IT GO! In the past this would not have been possible for me and it would have eaten at me the whole time. I did talk to a couple of good friends about it, but after that: poof and it was gone. Until….
Today–Monday. I’ve been doing lots of work on myself letting go, truly letting go that is… In order for me to be true to this I had to decide how I could get on from these situations. After all, I was back in the thick of it today.
I knew I had a check to deposit in the bank fund, so I decided to buy a plant for the customer service rep to make peace with her. Honestly, there was no reason to be upset any longer. She is young and I didn’t really need her to apologize. She had been through enough I was sure–her bosses had already spoken to her about the Aunt, her mistakes and how she had treated me. She learned lots of things already. Now was a lesson in forgiveness.For all of us.When I gave her the plant, I hugged her and said it’s all fine! And I could see the worry drain from her–and so too, did it from me! It was a beautiful thing.
Then at work today, I wrote an apology email to both the kid who yelled at me, and the woman I had difficulties with (because of the now strained relationship). I said it doesn’t even matter if I did or didn’t do whatever was said, but I was simply sorry if I offended. That all I aim for is peace and harmony. I have heard from her so far and for now it’s OK.
Keeping in mind that these sorts of things are so minor in one’s life is so important. They really aren’t worth the energy we put into them. I’m getting better at not getting as upset and letting go faster and being the one to be forgiving first. It’s for me, not them.
I found a very interesting post on Detachment by Deepak Chopra. This may help us all Let Go:
“The only way out of this dilemma is detaching. You set your intentions and take whatever action is needed, and then relinquish your attachment to the outcome. Here are a few powerful affirmations you can use to practice detachment in your daily life. Choose one or two and practice saying them to yourself throughout the day:
- I consciously commit to flexibility and detachment.
- I allow myself and those around me the freedom to be themselves, without imposing rigid ideas of right and wrong.
- I live my life in a state of engaged detachment.
- I release the need to judge or criticize.
- I express myself honestly while releasing any need to impose my beliefs on other people.
- Whenever I notice that I am becoming emotionally attached to a point of view, I take a deep breath and come back to a more centered place.
- I embrace detachment by choosing to be free from the good and bad opinions of others.”
So there you have it! I know I feel better. Hopefully they will….eventually. My Friday and my Monday feelings were truly were an antithesis of one another, and I’m glad of it.