Poem: Changeling

Positive magnetic brightness

a gravitational force

changing energy

Scraping off the

layers and layers

of ingrown dirt

making way for the

bursting shine

Come into the circle

and expand

Drink in the effervescent dreams

Then walk upon

moss-covered fields

into the world of






Doctor Doctor

With all the medical stuff going on in my life and in my Mom’s, I decided to make a quantum leap and step out of the norm and change Doctors. This is always an interesting decision to make, and sometimes hard, but in this case it was a piece of cake.

Since I have moved to this part of the country I have been even less impressed than usual with the health system. I’ve never been that impressed to begin with, but here and there one can find a decent provider. My doctor from where I moved had a relationship with me for 18 years or so, and while it wasn’t perfect, I did like her. She still was very traditional, but she did seem to care and listened…for the most part. But she had her great limitations based on the Western tradition of medicine.

Leaning toward a different way of life than most, and being an outside the box person, sometimes I test the patience of Doctors (and many people I meet). This is something I am not ashamed of, actually I’m quite proud of it, although I’ve come by this with some tough moments in life.

Being the odd woman out is not always easy and often leaves one feeling alone or odd, but I’ve come to embrace my differences and see them as good. And those that embrace me for them, I consider special and wonderful friends. And those special Doctors who understand that I don’t fit the mold of a ‘normal’ patient (and I don’t mean in this case that I have mental illness–although some may think I do)–I simply mean that I don’t embrace the typical style of medicine we see now…especially these days.

The more I am around Doctors, hospitals, providers and caregivers–the more I see folks that don’t much care about an individual, I see youth and immaturity, often rude and harsh behaviors, cut corners and people without true listening skills or compassion. Not always, but generally. It’s very, very disheartening. And when this happens with patients that can’t advocate for themselves, or don’t really know what to expect–it spells disaster.

Patients forget they are the customer and deserve the attention and care their money is buying. They feel that anything a Doctor says must be true because they went to school for so long and paid so much for their educations. But sadly, this isn’t always the case. We all have the right to question something if we feel, in our guts, that it isn’t right for us–even if a Doctor says it is–or even just to ask a question. It should be team-work, not a dictatorship. And there should always be a sense the Doctor truly cares.

So in this vein, I decided to find a new, more holistic approach to my health care. No more typical Western approach: sterile waiting areas, answering systems where no humans answer the phone, lost faxes and Doctors looking at computers instead of you. I’ve had it with this type of care! I remember the days when a Doc came to my home to see me. This is a far cry from those days…

A quick search found me a holistic Doctor right near my home. I called the office, left an easy message (there were no thousands of mailboxes I had to press 1 or 2). My message was answered the next day promptly, and I had a lovely conversation with the office person Carol the next day–we spoke for maybe 15 or so minutes about our respective lives! It was refreshing. And appointment was made.

When I came for the appointment, the office smelled wonderful: of incense and herbs. The office was lovely with beautiful music (not Muzak). My visit was one hour-long (a couple of times the Doc went out to see others) and we spoke about what the plan was for me and what I hoped to get from our relationship together.

I’m going to do acupuncture, herbal remedies and maybe some other modalities to help fix some chronic issues. Honestly, I’m really very healthy most the time, so I may not even see her that much. She respects that I may need to see some Western Docs for certain things, she’s cool with that for sure. And if I have a bone sticking out of me someday (hopefully not) that I have to go to any emergency room anyway. Of course! But she said she helps her patients getting ready for surgeries with special things so they heal faster and without scars.

I came away feeling very positive. Hey, 1000 years of Chinese medicine can’t be all wrong. And certainly I have not felt right about what’s been going on with my treatment thus far, so why not? Anything is worth a try. She seemed caring and positive and very attentive. I felt comfortable and peaceful.

And best of all: she spoke to me directly and not into a computer!




Ripple Effect

I had a most interesting experience last night. It was my good fortune to hear a very special and talented yoga/spiritual master perform her music and chanting. She led a very large and enthusiastic crowd in a local Unitarian Universalist Church in a very amazing gathering of energy raising and spiritual awakening.

Sadly I missed the first half as my job as a medic called and I had two late 911 ambulance calls. I almost didn’t go, but my EMT partners convinced me to go anyway. I’m so glad I did! I would not have wanted to miss it.

It reminded me very much of an experience years ago, but on a smaller scale, visiting a local ashram. They would have open chanting and meditation sessions. I would go just to catch the vibes and be peaceful. It was a wonderful place just to chill and be quiet–something I always seemed to have a hard time doing.

But the experience last night, was on a different scale. While many there were obviously followers of the same yogi or her practice, most were just like me I’d imagine. That is: seeking inner peace, a sense of like-minded people, finding peace in a sea of world turmoil.

And so I did. While I’ve never been a follower of much: religion, people, authority or the like, I can totally appreciate what comes of a gathering of humans that concentrate energy on the same thing. When that energy is positive, joyful, peaceful and loving, it becomes a powerful tool.

I’ve been very drained and depressed by the world horror, especially the most recent in Syria. The chemical warfare used to kill all the people, so many children, somehow particularly disturbed me. As a paramedic, we learn about what happens when someone suffers from this kind of attack. We learn how to protect ourselves so we too do not become victims. It’s a horrible death.

While I was in the┬áchurch last night, for the hour I was present, I was surrounded by a room full of people who were filled during those moments with what appeared to be inner light and joy. For those moments, I could let go of my despair for the human race and hope–hope that not everyone feels evil thoughts. That there are many that radiate love and that want world peace just like me.

There was one chant that we were guided to think about anyone or anything that needed healing: ourselves, family, friends, the country, another country, the world, the earth! We all poured our healing energy outward or inward. The mass healing we created was palpable! I personally kept Syria in my thoughts.

Children ran about during this whole night. They were free, yelling, smiling, dancing, singing! No pain, no suffering! It made me grateful. It reminded me there is good too. Good people, good energy, good thoughts. It reminded me to keep hope, to believe, to hang onto to the idea of peace. If enough believe, then it can happen!

And that when many sing together, we all sound like one voice. When many strangers stand all together thinking/feeling the same things then powerful energy happens: so make those thoughts positive! And above all: continue to spread peace and love wherever you go and whatever you do! It has a ripple effect.