Merry Eostre


So my dear and diverse readers in blogging land, I’m going to diverge from my normal protocol (well mostly) and stick my toe into the potentially controversial topic of religion.

Today as most of you know is Easter here in the US. And some of you may also know, because I have mentioned on my blog before, I am not Christian– although I do tend to be a very spiritual (and respectful) person. But there is one thing that I have found over the years perplexing (and maybe slightly tiresome) that I’m going to put out to you all.

Why do people–like almost everybody I bump into–feel compelled to wish me a Happy Easter and assume this has meaning to me? This has been going on for days leading up to today and each time I hear it, I just wonder what they think when they say it. Do they think that I too am Christian and celebrate this particular holiday or is it just something to say instead of: gee, it’s a nice day out?

To me it would seem the more appropriate thing to say might be: Do you celebrate Easter? And then this might open a conversation. Or they could even discuss their Easter plans and say: What a great day for Easter. Then it leaves the other person open to speak of their plans if they have any, or just listen if they don’t.

If someone is a completely different religion, say Jewish, wishing them a Happy Easter, is not particularly relevant to them. At Christmas time these phrases (Merry Christmas!!) happen too, although folks seem sometimes to be a bit more aware and sometimes offer a ‘Happy Holidays’ just in case.

I understand that people aren’t trying to be rude or anything, but it’s more about awareness of ones interactions with people and who they might be. Like the adage: don’t assume. Just because you believe something and it has meaning to you, doesn’t mean it does to someone else (even if it has meaning to a large population). It’s maybe not a big thing really. Just a small politeness. A tiny way to say: hey, I’m me, but maybe you’re you and it’s OK. We can all live here together with our own beliefs, traditions and truths. A way to keep trying to connect our world on a more individual level and not lump everyone into a category. Maybe if we tried this and took the time to get to know each person we met rather than treat them as a reflection of our own insecurities, there wouldn’t be so much hate and fear.

So what if I said to you: Merry Eostre. What would you say and how would you feel? Would you take the time it hear what it means to me? Or will you remain in your own story till the end…??

I hope you all had a wonderful, peaceful and blessed Sunday.

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70 Years Young!!


This is what my co-worker posted on the white board about my birthday today! Happy birthday to me…  ha ha, because I’m really 60 today and he likes to be funny. But with me dancing around and that post, plenty of folks knew today was the day that I  tipped over into a new decade.

Usually I let these things slide, but since this one seemed fairly monumental to me, I let my mouth rip. I mean, sheesh, I recall feeling like my Grandma was way old when she was in her sixties! And wouldn’t you know, time just plundered on ahead and here I am! How the heck did that happen pray tell?


My high school friends and I have been scratching our heads (and looking in the mirrors) and wondering where all those years went. One of them just sent me a picture of my HS principal/geology teacher. For goodness sake, he’s 91 years old! He looked fantastic mind you, but 91 years old?! That’s nuts!

But even though I went to work, it’s been a great day so far. Some of my co-workers got me gifts….it was amazing and incredibly touching! Man, after 8 years of working at my old job, you had to die for anyone to pay attention. Two gals in the scheduling part of our OR came up behind me (very unusual) and I turned around from my desk. I said: wow, I’m being stalked by schedulers (I really had no idea what was going on). One is pretty serious, so she said: Yup, you made a really big mistake booking a case. My heart was pounding in my chest and I got so upset. Then the said: Happy Birthday, and they gave me the nicest gifts! I was shocked. It was so sweet!! Even my bosses got me something and another wonderful gal who gave me the book the other day.


And as I was leaving a bunch of them chimed in to a rendition of: Happy Birthday to you, you live in the zoo…. I changed it to: I work in the zoo… All in all, very touching. With hugs, fist bumps and all that…. So maybe I’m getting there and work is becoming more and more an accepting place.

On the home front, a huge package from a dear old friend, cards and best of all:

Calls from all three of my wonderful daughters! I even was remembered by someone I’ve been out of contact with for quite some time.

Mom and I will go out tomorrow to dinner too. I’m lucky to have this day, because it’s often a 3 day weekend. Yippee.

Let’s hope it’s a wonderful decade. Better than the last because that one was a bit tough. Now I’m really moving into the crone years: hopefully the wisdom will start to really come, the patience, the contentment and I’ll be walking the right path. Thanks to you all for you continued support on this blogging journey of mine!!

 

 

You Never Know….


Well, sometimes things don’t go the way you expect, but they go the way they are meant to I suppose.

On my way into work my Doctor’s office called with the results from my MRI of my right arm. I’ve been suffering from lots of pain, loss of movement and lack of sleep. I honestly feared the worse, but as a typical healthcare worker, I have been in avoidance mode. It’s my right arm, my dominant one, and the thought of being out of commission for any length of time is so scary to me!

But, I could wait no longer and went. And the results were in: deep tissue tear in my rotator cuff and degenerative scarring in my bicep . In other words, not good! And most likely surgery–rotator cuff surgery. Blah.

So with this news, I drove to work ready to give my notice–knowing that I would lose my insurance. Double blah.

I left the letter anyway, because mental health is important too! And I’ve suffered there enough. With all the support of friends, family and you bloggers, I was prepared to do what I had to do.

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My immediate supervisor got my ‘love note’ as she called it and brought me into her office. She asked what prompted it and then got the big boss in too. I just ranted about all the stuff I felt: the disrespect, the yelling, the complaining etc. And about the good job I do. They agreed that none of the bad stuff should be happening and that I DO a good job. She wondered why I hadn’t called her when it happened the other night…

Hmmm, I didn’t know I could actually, and would it have changed anything? She assured me they have a zero tolerance policy for this kind of behavior from Doctors or anyone. They agreed to take care of it.

Will it help or will it be worse with that particular Doctor now? I don’t know. But what I do know is that losing my insurance at this juncture would be devastating financially. I’m not sure if these people really think I’m so all fired terrific or if they are just really desperate for employees to sit at that front desk. It’s a pretty rotten job and not a lot of people want to do it.

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They are putting me back on days next week which is good. I like it better and my desk mate is much easier to work around. It’s also better for my pets and me. So that will help. So for now, I take it one day at a time and see what happens…

And while I can still type, I say: thanks for all your support! xo

Resignation


Well, today was the last straw at work. Someone that I thought was a nice person and sort of a friend (I don’t know anyone really well enough to call them a true friend), did something pretty yucky to me today. So now, after being pushed and soul searching, I’ve decided to resign tomorrow. And what better day than April Fool’s day.

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I’m no fool!

After hearing about those two sad young men yesterday and their tragic stories, and listening to myself complain for three months, I decided enough is enough. Life really is just too short. While there are some very nice people there, the bulk of the energy is negative. I’ve learned (and accepted) enough about myself, that I am really an emotional sponge. One can’t simply say to me: Oh don’t let it bother you. No, it’s not possible. I take in all that is around me: the yelling, the gossiping, the mean talk, the shaming, the crabbiness, the rudeness and the direct negativity pointed at me.

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I went into this job with high hopes and a good attitude and now I can’t sleep, have anxiety chest pain and feel exhausted every night when I go home. It’s simply time to walk away. This is a hard decision because I feel very guilty about leaving after only 3 months and letting the nice people down, not fulfilling obligations etc., but it’s not worth it in the end.

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On to greener pastures…..

I’m toying with the idea of becoming a home health aide. Yes…yet a new career and more training at almost 60! But I love senior citizens, it’s a short class and there is a huge call for it down here. The pay is low, but I think the rewards might be great. I’d be back to actually helping people and maybe not being treated like a second class citizen. For me it’s about giving back. Feel free to put your two cents in….??

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I seriously think you are doing the right thing Mommy!

On a good note: I got this wonderful ‘post card’ from one of my best blogging buddies today. He sent it like four weeks ago from England…he’s originally from there, but lives in NZ now. He’s on a 5 week trip all over the place. It took forever to get to me, but it couldn’t have come at a better time. I needed it today. It’s called a ‘Timbergram’ and is made out of wood! I’ve never seen anything like it. 🙂 Thanks…(you know who you are!!)

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Open Doors


Home today…mental health day after yet another miserable day at work caused by others. I’m resting and thinking once again about the future.

Something is afoot. I’m feeling it. If I had someone to read my astrology chart, I believe they would say times they are a-changin’. And I believe good things are ahead.

Already some people are back in my life that I know will be making a difference. A dear friend just returned from his two plus years in the Peace Corps. We were thick as thieves before he left, but could not be as in touch while he was in Africa. I’m delighted to have him back.

A less close pal has also drifted into my life, and we speak almost daily too. This has been a calming influence on my life in time where I have needed it. And there have been deepening relationships with other old and dear friends that just continue to grow, ripen and blossom.  New friendships too, sprung from this very blog, are cherished even though I may never actually meet these wise and funny people.

So I am comforted by the fact my life is shifting. And moves that are to make for peace in my life must be made now. I’ve been nervous to do so before because of lack of confidence, or simply resting in the status quo of my daily grind. But now I must take the leaps.

I’m putting my faith in the fact that nothing has to be finite. Any change I make can be unmade. Some not so easily, but forging forward is sometimes just what needs to be done. My mother used to say: when one door closes, another opens. Sometimes in ways we don’t even imagine.

I certainly hope she was right.

Dis-Ease


My blog has become such an important and integral part of my life on many levels. It started as a project as a ‘public journal’ to help me discover myself more and dabble as a writer. But over the last year or so it has come to be so much more. The friends and followers I have come to connect with has made it greater than a project. In fact, I got off of Facebook so I could spend more time on my blog  rather than waste time reading silly posts on FB.

This all leads into today’s topic. One particular avid follower of mine, who has become to be an “off blog” friend, emailed me yesterday to say she has been ill. She is such a lovely woman, amazing photographer and creative writer. I’ve been honored to have her as a follower and now as a pen pal. The news of her illness really struck me. It made me think of illness– and being a medic, I’m surrounded by the topic on a near daily basis.

I once read about the word disease. How if you break it down it becomes: dis-ease. Our bodies being not at ease with ourselves. Made perfect sense to me. After hearing this I began to look at where disease landed in a particular person. What part of the body does the disease live and does it correlate to the person’s personality and lifestyle?

The closer I looked, the more often I found it to be true. The above mentioned blog friend has such a huge heart and has suffered many emotional struggles related to love, family and other ‘heart’ related issues. Her illness is now cardiac, obviously one directly attacking one’s heart.

I have a dear friend, a woman completely devoted to her children her whole life for all the years I’ve known her and from when they were babes. She nursed them, cared for them, was a stay at home Mom, doing all a woman could do. She’s lived a healthy life and discovered a year or so ago she had breast cancer. This, to me, is such a dis-ease of we women that carry all the weight of womanhood, motherhood, sisterhood and femininity in our core.

Recently I watched an amazing TED talk where a woman who studied strokes had a stroke herself! One wonders if we almost create our own realities? She studied her own stroke while she was having it! I actually did this while I have having my own first seizures.

And I’ve thought about why I have my mild seizure disorder-a neurologic disorder of the brain. Mine are caused most likely from traumatic injuries to the head. I’ve had repeated ones. Why do I keep injuring my head? Do I live too much there or do I need to live more there? Is the Universe giving me some messages? Many famous people had seizure disorders and were able to use them to create. Is my disorder truly a gift?

Maybe there is food for thought about where we hold our dis-ease, our anxiety, our pain. What parts of our bodies do we make ill? Our minds do control our bodies. This is proven. And if this is true, can we control these things and be more healthy? We all know mediation, calming thoughts, happiness, positive relationships make for better health. The question always is how to attain it with regularity.

Then of course, we have always met the person we believe is at utter peace but falls ill. And this is the mystery of the Universe. What each of our cells holds may not be ultimately known by us. All we can do is the best we can is to relieve ourselves from any unnecessary noise, feelings or emotions that may produce possible dis-ease within us. To this end we may lead the healthiest and happiest life we can.

Award: The Versatile Blogger Award!


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I have been happily awarded this lovely award. Here are the rules…

The rules of this award are as follows:

1.  Display the award certificate on your website.
2.  Announce your win with a post and include a link to whoever presented your award.
3.  Present 15 awards to deserving bloggers.  Create a post linking to them and drop them a comment to tip them off.
4.  Post 7 interesting facts about yourself.

I was awarded this award by http://winterowls.com/–Thanks so much! It’s a lovely website. Please check it out. Lovely artwork.

The following are 15 deserving bloggers:

1.   http://lingeringvisions.wordpress.com/ Great photography and writing!

2.  http://createdcreate-it.com/ Photoblog… very creative.

3. Alice: (http://alleysbackstreets.wordpress.com/) -Personal pictures with heartfelt captions.

4. Mary Strong-Spaid – (http://storieswithnobooks.com/)Awesome photography and poems.

5. saltypalette -(http://saltypalette.wordpress.com/) Amazing photos and captions.

6. seedbud – (http://leafandtwig.wordpress.com/)So many photos and stories of leaves and twigs!

7. jenfbs – (http://iblogitasiseeit.wordpress.com/)Just getting started with photos and stories.

8. sufey (@SufeySuryananadi) -(http://sufey.org/) Just fun!

9. Clyde – (http://vintageforde.wordpress.com/)Good poetry and a thoughtful fan.

10. Umesh Sharma -(http://wildernesstravel.wordpress.com/) Fabulous traveling photos.

11. aleafinspringtime – (http://aleafinspringtime.wordpress.com/)Lovely photos and sensitive writing.

12. A Nature Mom-(http://anaturemom.com/) Such a sweet blog, so fun.

13. yerpirate -(http://managuagunntoday.wordpress.com/) I love this blog…to see the heart of man.

14. Crazy Irishman – (http://crazyirishman.wordpress.com/)Another great poetic guy!

15. kayleebakes -(http://kayleebakes.wordpress.com/) More wonderful photos and captions.

I don’t know if the following facts will be interesting, but…….

1. I use henna to color my hair.

2. I ran the 1982 Boston marathon and I even qualified for it.

3. When I was 6 years old and in camp, I would sit with this giant bull pine tree and talk to it and hug it and water it. I’m still a tree hugger today.

4. I talk to myself. I think it comes from growing up an only child.

5. My belly button is pierced.

6. I’ve been married three times and dated more than I’d like to admit, but I’m single now.

7. Most days I feel like my little dog is my best friend.