Reality Check


It is always interesting when we can have a moment where we can look at ourselves and see some aspect differently.

At work it feels like I am surrounded by many disgruntled co-workers. Or at least folks who are not really into what they are doing; or maybe they are just exhausted? They work with kids in a school, which can be tiring, especially these days for sure–but somehow I figured there would be more passion in the people there.

Instead I find a group of (mostly) frustrated, cranky, unhappy people who seem like they would rather be anywhere be where they are…and I suddenly realized yesterday, after hearing my immediate co-worker complain and whine, that oh my goodness: this was me for so many years in my last career!

How miserable it must have been to be around me! To hear me complain all the time and see my grouchy face. And to hardly ever hear anything nice come out of my mouth. Yikes. It stopped me cold when I realized how it must have been to be work with me all the time.

Because I know what it’s like to be around these folks day in and out. It’s a downer. And how must it be for the kids? We’re suppose to be models for them after all, eh? Was I able to fake it for my patients on the ambulance, because I know these educators aren’t hiding anything from these children.

It really made me ashamed of myself, that I had put everyone I worked with through all my stuff. Honestly, it doesn’t even matter if it had cause or not; I should have left it at home. Work is not a place to drag your baggage. It’s not fair to anyone around you, yet I did it for a long, long time.

These folks may have what they feel are ‘good excuses’, but really none are when you get down to it. If you’re unhappy, find something else to do. It’s hard to find other work, yes that’s true. But if you’re heart not in what you’re doing, we all can tell.

If you can fix the things at work that’s the best solution. Or maybe you can learn to suck it up and push your way through things (not let things bother you as much)…but the ultimate solution may simply be to move on…. That’s the sad truth. I finally left a career I loved because of the extraneous stuff that bugged me too much.

So, in the end, I am very regretful for all those I drove crazy with my unhappiness. It’s clear now as I can see it in others (and it’s hard to take). In payment, I’m trying to be as upbeat as I can to make this place a little brighter…

And I know at least the kids appreciate it.

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10 thoughts on “Reality Check

  1. It’s a sign of wisdom and maturity that you were able to take an introspective look at yourself before judging others. I think we all know what it’s like feel stuck in a place we don’t want to be. It sucks. It can be suffocating and it’s hard to smile when you feel like you can’t breathe. I think the key is to be empathetic toward your disgruntled co-workers. Now that you’re in a better place in your career, you can be a source of optimism and positivity for the people around you who are drowning.

  2. I applaud your honest in seeing yourself in your co-workers, and in writing about it. It’s so hard when we suddenly see something negative about ourselves (and believe me, I’ve been there.) But I don’t think we need to beat ourselves up since we can’t change the past. All we can do is take what we have learned, make the necessary adjustments, and go from there. And I think you should be proud of yourself…maybe you complained in your old job up north, but remember how you had the courage to get out of job you didn’t like once you moved down here? You knew, instinctively perhaps, that you needed to get out of an environment that was bringing you down. And that’s a good thing.

  3. I’m not beating myself up too much–I’m done doing that Ann. And I’m taking lots of time now re-evaluating my behaviors so that I can be a better human. You may give me way more credit than I deserve for my move…but I appreciate your positive comment. You are always a lovely influence! xo

  4. It looks as though a majority of people are not happy with the way things are going on in their lives as you can see more grumpy, impatient, angry and downright frustrated faces all around you nowadays and very few happy or friendly, helpful faces. When you have to do something that you don’t like, it is very stressful trying to cope with it and put up a happy face for others. I think it is all about either liking what you do or doing what you like. Sadly, the choice is not always open to you. And that is when you show up as a complaining whine which is a way of releasing the pent up emotions. While trying to cheer up the environment, maybe you can quote your story to your co workers giving them a chance to do their own introspection and finding a way out of their miserable situation. The kids too will benefit in the process.

  5. I’ve learned through experience not to share my blog with co-workers actually. It came to bit me in the back when one took something out of context and got very angry. It ruined our work relationship and made work miserable. I keep my private life just that, and work life separate. I understand what you are saying, but it’s not for me to preach to these folks. Rather, I will simply try to keep positive and hope that it rubs off. They must follow their own paths and learn their own ways…if they ask, then I can share at that point. My goal is just trying to spread as much love as I can…xo

  6. I understand. Some people do take it personally and think you are meddling in their affairs. We are living in a strange world where people have problems but not willing to reach out for help for fear of being ridiculed or criticized. But i enjoyed reading your blog.

  7. And not to be silly here; This is the truth, most folks don’t know how, or choose not to be honest. My super power is to be able to tell (most times) who is… and I admit that I have a hard time when someone isn’t. I’m trying hard these days to understand why though. We all have a past, and usually this plays into it. Sometimes folks simply can’t help it. Anyway, I just don’t know any other way to be, sometimes to my detriment. And I’m definitely drawn to those like me….

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