Doing Wrong


Sometimes we do something wrong to someone. Sometimes we know we do, sometimes we may not. How the other people handle this can be completely different.  And those differences have completely opposite outcomes for us.

I’ve been thinking about only two of those ways in which people deal when I have done something wrong–or even have ‘supposedly’ done something wrong. I say this because in one case, I don’t even know what I did.

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In that instance there have been a couple of times where I had very dear friends that just stop being my friend without any explanation. Even though I tried to find out why or what I may have done to illicit this behavior, I never could find out why. This, of course, is disturbing and hurtful. But eventually, something we must move on from.

The second is where someone doesn’t let you forget something that you’ve done wrong and continually reminds you. While they still are your friend, family or whatever–it can come up in conversation when you least expect it. They haven’t let go, completely forgiven or whatever, even if you may have apologized. This, while is slightly better because you are still communicating, can be difficult. It’s a constant reminder and keeps you both stuck in the past.

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I guess in the first case, a simple explanation would help. Everyone has the choice to move on from a friendship. But, to me at least, it seems kind to tell the person why, especially if you had something invested in your relationship. And the second case, once you have discussed the wrong doing, we must try to put it behind the best we can and not let it keep staining the present moments.

Of course there are many more times where wrong doings are completely forgiven and we go on even better because of them. They enrich our relationships because of giving us insights to each other and all our facets. When we can love all of someone, even the not so perfect, then that is really an honest kind of love.

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8 thoughts on “Doing Wrong

  1. Love without honesty and truth is something different than wholehearted love I think. I am still learning after all these years myself🌝

  2. You are so right ! Often people keep reminding of your past mistakes… it is sometimes so irritating, it affects the present relationship as well… forgiveness and letting go of the past are two important qualities needed to maintain a relationship, and it is the lack of these, that leads many relationships to failure, sometimes even before they have fully bloomed!!

    1. Please see my reply to Ann Coleman…it was an interesting thing for me. Yes, it can be hard to hear things over and over. No-one likes to be reminded. Sometimes I find family does this more than anyone…

  3. I’m sorry you’ve been treated that way. It is so hard when a friendship ends for no known reason, or when a person continually brings up past transgressions. Forgiveness is a huge part of any long term relationship, and those who can’t forgive hurt themselves and others.

    1. It happens and it’s odd. Luckily it doesn’t happen much. I just read recently about a book where the author said that sometimes a person can only forgive partially, maybe 90% and we must respect this. It really resonated with me when I thought of some of the stuff I had done to others that made them need to forgive me. They can have that 10%, I totally get it… it’s the least I can give them for some of the stuff I did. If we can move on with the 90% and be OK, then that’s pretty good.

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