Only Silence

Once upon a time, many, many years ago–a little girl made a make-a-wish to go to Disney. It seemed like a pretty boring wish for her Mama, but she had her heart set on it (even though Mom tried to talk her into a more interesting wish), so the whole family was escorted to the ‘magical’ (plastic) world of Disneyland.


It was an odd trip for me (yes I was the Mama) and my other two daughters, going on a trip planned around a kid who wasn’t considered healthy. While my HIV positive daughter reveled in the attention, the rest of us noticed the “Alice In Wonderland” qualities of everything encountered. Sort of like a bad drug trip….



But she wouldn’t hear of doing anything different. It was Mickey or nothing! So there I was: trapped in the surreal world of Americana, with no vegetarian food in sight and our nights spent in a ‘special’ place designed for all the make-a-wish kids. It was like being in the ward of pediatric hospital gone carnival. Spooky to say the least. My oldest daughter hated it. Well, so did I…

Today, that daughter is alive and well and 25 years old. Her disease is under control. HIV is more like diabetes now a days really. It’s quite amazing. No real cure, but manageable.

Unfortunately, she still refuses to listen to me–like most kids of course, but for her, this can be a slippery slope. She’s pregnant and it’s not a great situation. Her life is no Disneyland. She did not find Prince Charming and she lives more like Cinderella still. It’s a very sad, and often scary situation.


She called today to say she had a car accident. Her fault, rear ending the person in front because of something careless on her part. I’ve been trying to coach her about straightening her life out to get ready for this new addition. But I’m more like the Cruella Deville than Mom…I get nowhere. So now she has no car along with the rest of her sad life.

Some things never change really….They do what they want when they are 5 or 25 but the choices they make at 25 can be much more damaging. Because now they are making choices for someone else.What if that baby was already in the car? Or what if she hit a child instead of another car? I get no replies when I ask these questions….

Only silence…..



12 thoughts on “Only Silence

  1. I feel like I should say more than this made me sad, but I can’t think of anything else worth saying. My family has a somewhat relatable story/situation. There’s only so much advice/direction one can give and sometimes it still doesn’t matter. Hugs to you and your family 💕

  2. Yeah, there’s not much to say really. Many families face these problems really. I appreciate your caring and your situation too. It is what it is as ‘they’ say. It’s sad indeed. One day at a time! xo

  3. Congratulations on your soon to be born grandchild! People, and life, are never perfect, but they are what they are, and it is what it is, and how we choose to react speaks volumes about who we are. You seem like a loving and accepting person. As for Disneyworld, I’ve never been myself, and am in no rush to go.

  4. Well, actually, this isn’t a joyous occasion I’m afraid. The situation is dire and dangerous. Neither of the ‘parents’ are really capable in any way to have a baby/child in their lives, nor am I or my ex-husband and his wife in a position to step in and take it. It’s quite likely that social services to could take if some miracle doesn’t happen. It’s a long story and since you’re new to my blog, may not understand the whole story. It’s not really a matter of be loving and accepting, it’s reality. In this situation I’m just worried for this baby. I live far away and am committed to helping my elderly Mother. While my ex is closer, he’s in a similar situation. It’s simply a mess. 😦

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s