Too Late?


Lately I’ve been struggling. Most of you will feel me foolish I’m sure, but I will put it out there none the less, because this is partly why I blog. This is not a pretty uplifting post, so don’t read it if you want happy…

Some of it is where I’m at in my life right now, but a bigger part is simply what is going on around me in the world. It seems I read somewhere, or maybe heard, about people suffering from a sort of depression because of global decay. Maybe I have this cloaking me?

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That part I’m sure most of you can relate to…I mean you know about the global decay around us at least. Whether or not it pulls at you is another story. But if you are the least bit human, there have to be some times where you must, like me, just want to put your hands to your ears and say: enough.

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Where to begin? Just listing all the awful things going wrong now with our planet and with each other is enough to make me want to crawl into a cave an never come out. And when I remotely think how we are contributing to it all…well, then I actually get physically ill. Yes, I know, I know–I’m supposed to think happy thoughts and be grateful for my life and all. But how can I when there is so much destruction going on around me? Just because it’s not right next to me, doesn’t mean it’s not happening.

The simple thing would be to never turn on my radio or look at my computer. Simply stick my head in the sand and make my move to live off in the wild somewhere and not pay attention. Don’t laugh, I’ve thought about this plan. There are many folks planning this life. They are building their shelters, stocking their food and water, (and probably guns)– and preparing…. Preparing for the day when there isn’t much left.

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Could it happen in my life time? Surely major changes in my children’s life time. Ugh. Sometimes this makes me feel guilty. What earth did I give them? Is it a dying one?

But the real dilemma for me is how to live now? There are some things that I do that are good, but most things only contribute to the bad stuff. And the older I get, the more I am aware that most people around me don’t seem to notice or care. It is really painful for me. Yes, it’s really pain…if only mental anguish that I should stop everything I’m doing right now, get off this ride and change my life completely. Stop being the hypocrite that I am.

As each day passes, and I get older and older, I hope that someday I will be able to live out a life where I don’t feel a part of the machine. That grinding, chewing, chomping machine that is eating this planet and everything on it, and turning us into zombies.

Hopefully we will wake up from the dead some day and see what we are doing to our Mother, and to each other, before it is too late. Or maybe it already is……

 

 

 

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26 thoughts on “Too Late?

  1. There’s really nothing I can say that will make you feel better but I feel compelled to tell you I understand and often share the same feelings and thoughts.

    1. Thanks for understanding. Yeah, there’s really not much to say. I just have to be with my feelings. I’m glad someone understands though…it seems most don’t. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  2. Teaching the next generation a deep appreciation for nature and life of all species gives me hope that the birds, fish, animals and plants of the earth will be cared for after we are gone. We as elders should be taking every opportunity to help the young ones realize the fragility of our home….And for now, I take joy in the birth of the baby robin in our front yard and smile with delight at the two bunnies that scamper about and get fat and happy on the clover and dandelions. The bird song continues and the neighbor kids helped put the veggies in the garden, literally sowing the seeds of future hope………

    1. This is sweet love, and yes, I agree–we must teach our children. But I also think it is too easy to be lulled into a false sense of complacency by taking joy in our own backyards. This is how we forget what is going on in the bigger world. If we just sit back enjoying our grilled hamburger in the beauty of the surrounding mountains, we can easily feel: Nothing can really be wrong with this picture? But sadly…it’s not true. We need to become a global community and start caring/thinking about people starving on the other side of the world who have no seeds to plant gardens or bunnies and who’s neighbor kids don’t have enough food….sorry to be so blunt, but this is the kind of thing that is keeping me up at night. It’s just me though….

  3. We are all guilty. The worst part is that so many deny what is happening as if that just makes it disappear. While the news says, “this is the hottest year on record.” Each year topping the last…

    1. I completely agree. Not only do they deny, they are completely unaware! Their lives are no bigger than the end of their noses. It’s frightening. Did you watch Cowspiracy? You, I believe, would get something out of it for sure. xo

      1. I haven’t seen it. I did read John Robbins Food Revolution and became a vegan soon after. It lasted until I had kids. Chicken slowly creeped in. I am always conscious of it and try to eat as meat free as possible. I could do better๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿ”๐Ÿท

  4. You seem to be too hard on yourself. What a beautiful thing to just, let those feelings free in this post. And what a beautiful thing to be a part of the mess in humanity as life is messy at times with no right or wrong feelings ๐Ÿ™‚

    Handing you a nice veggie tray hehe…enjoy~

    1. Please watch Cowspiracy. It’s sobering. I do have high expectations for myself. Maybe I can balance out the energy of those that have none… Is it a beautiful thing? Sometimes I’m not sure…As you say, we are all entitled to our feelings, eh? Blessings. โค

  5. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ such a beautiful post… I love the pictures, the last picture with Gumahor flowers is just beautiful… The questions you pose are valid and I hope that more and more people become aware of their actions and do things that benefit nature so that we can do something for our mother… She has given us immense beauty and life, we must do something better.

    About your becoming old and feeling like a part of this churning machine… Well to some extent even the young people today feel it… Maybe there’s no other way to get out of it except for choosing a way in which you give up the chance to be understood by most of the people you have loved your entire life. Well, there I go, philosophical again. Making this a long comment. Sorry.

    Have a wonderful time dear. My prayers and hopes to you, may you have a beautiful day. ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Thank you for such a long and thoughtful post! I agree and hope that more people become aware of their actions, but it seems unlikely. I just look around me and most folks seemed wrapped in their own little bubbles. I’m not sure I totally understand the second paragraph, I’m sorry. Many folks who know me and love me (and vice versa), so understand me and the way I feel (luckily). It’s the ‘outside’ world that have no idea where I am coming from, and currently I am living in a very isolated situation unfortunately. Someday I hope to be in a different situation, but for now I am living where I need to be. Today was tolerable, but there will always be this underlying difficulty for me…and it’s OK. It’s just me and I accept it. โค

      1. hmm.. outside world won’t ever accept the complete idea of who someone is.. It’s just difficult but yes there will be people who will understand you and be with you in the hours of your need and just fun.. ๐Ÿ™‚

        Thanks fr sharing this with me. ๐Ÿ™‚ Gives me a chance to better understand you.

        Have a wonderful day dear

    1. Funny, I’ve been corresponding to a blogging friend for some time now who lives in New Zealand. He feels that’s the place to be…at least for now. I guess at some point nowhere will really be safe, but it does sound very nice and beautiful, but I’m not sure how easy it is to become a permanent resident for that very reason.

      1. Gosh, I met some people who used to come to the area where I live and camp here with their lovely children and two border collies, and they moved to New Zealand (she was born there), and it was the worst mistake of their life… they lost everything, not one — but three earthquakes destroyed their home and the city (Christchurch).

        I don’t think there is a safe place to be anymore, people who have traveled the world and have been to every country, tell me that all the paradise places are ruined now — environmental devastation, crime, poverty, racism, etc.

      2. I’m not sure where you live, but I told him pretty much the same thing actually. You can run, but you can’t hide. When push comes to shove, nowhere will be safe. I hate to sound like a fatalist, but unless people open their eyes soon and start caring about everyone and not just themselves, I’m afraid there won’t be anywhere to go! xo

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