So many of you who follow my blog know that I handed in my resignation letter today at work. Yes, this–April Fool’s day, just to add a little humor to my bosses day. NOT!
It turned out to be not the day I expected, after tossing and turning most the night about how it would go and all the reasons why I should definitely do it….
I walked in at 6 am to the peace I have all by myself first thing and was soon joined by a few others of the early comers. One was my partner at the desk this week, filling in for my usual front desk mate. She has been the charge nurse, and one that has been a thorn since I started.
She started in immediately yapping about how someone told the manager about how she talks on her phone all the time at the desk (which she does) and how it ticked her off. It is true that some of the time she is communicating with Doctors, but much of it is idle chit chat with men and it makes my load harder. So I admit, I may have been one that mentioned it in my speech the other day to the head boss after she yelled at me. But others have complained about her too.
Long story short, I told her I understood her frustration about pettiness because I was resigning for that very reason. And she was shocked that I was resigning! I was shocked she was shocked. Begging me to stay and be on the desk next week too, she completely flipped her attitude and focused on me, how great I am and that I should not do it.
This gave me an opportunity to express my feelings about what goes on there and how it all makes me uncomfortable and unhappy. To which a fellow co-worker agreed! It felt good to get it off my chest and she seemed to understand and gave me a pep talk. It was quite a change.
Later on in the morning, I went into the big bosses office and he knew immediately I was resigning. Actually I had heard earlier, they usually just tell folks to leave right away, so I was prepared. I told him very nicely thanks but I just couldn’t handle it anymore. He took it well and said it was fine if I stayed the two weeks, so I figured they didn’t hate me anyway.
When I was working the desk with my immediate supervisor, who I figured would take it very poorly, she was very dismayed. She wanted to know what was the final straw–even though I tried not to tell her. After hearing it, she too gave me a pep talk and said that she wished I would take the weekend to reconsider. Again, second shock of the day! If anyone was going to ask me to leave, I figured it would be her. And when the big boss stood next to her, he wanted me to reconsider too (even though it was an after thought…he isn’t a very strong manager).
So here’s the thing: many people came to me begging me not to go–even folks that haven’t been very nice. In the locker room I told the gal at the desk how I appreciated that she had been kind about my resignation, and that if I stay, we must try to work together well. I felt like I had somehow drawn a line in the sand today: no more abuse. Like things had turned slightly.
It’s hard to find jobs around here and I heard the home care stuff isn’t so hot. I just started my insurance today and have doctor’s orders that I’m suppose to take care of now. It’s a hard decision.
Will these folks be any better? There’s still one that was very standoffish today, but I can avoid her. I did feel like there was slight progress today. And I now know that someone is retiring and I can get her shift which will be easier.
I’m considering it. No rash decisions now like in my old life…. I’m honored that they asked me to stay, but not fooled into thinking I’m anything special. I know I do a good job, but I also know it would be really hard for them to start training someone all over again, and that’s probably why they don’t want me to go!