The Oldest

The other day I received a wonderful surprise in my mailbox. It was a late holiday gift from my oldest daughter. There were a couple of gifts, including a great picture of her with her boyfriend and a lovely necklace. It also contained an amazing card.

You all may say: well, this isn’t so amazing–a daughter sending her Mother some gifts and a card for the holidays. What’s the big deal? But you see, it is a big deal–for a number of reasons.

Yes, many daughters and mothers have their issues, and my oldest and I are no exception. She had some pretty rough issues as a teenager and I ran myself through the mill wondering how much had been my fault. We became pretty distant because of them too. But she’s not a kid any more, closer to 30 than 20 and as my mother has been saying for years: by the time she’s 30 or so, things will change. It was hard to believe…but now I am beginning to think it may be so.

She got through her tough times pretty much on her own. Moving far from home and scratching out a life (with help from me and my ex too), and is now an amazingly successful young woman. It has been an incredible thing to watch. But the really beautiful thing to experience has been the slow and steady mending of our relationship. For this is what I have truly mourned.

So when I received these personal items…a necklace–a piece of jewelry, something she hasn’t given me for years and years, I was so touched. And the saying that went with it was clearly thought out and matched with where I am in my life right now, something she clearly sensed. In fact, I wore it to my new job today, feeling rather lost and unsure. For it is a tiny compass and reads:

“Go confidently in the direction of your Dreams”


And so I shall….

You all can see what the card says on the outside, but inside my baby wrote:

“Dearest Mommy! I’m so proud of you for following your dreams & finding happiness. I love you always and forever.”  H


In most cases it’s supposed to be the Mommy saying these words to the kid, but this kid has already followed her dreams and gave me the inspiration to follow mine. And well, that last line…if I ever doubted her love before it seems I may have been imagining things. One thing I do know: I never stopped loving her…and I never will.



16 thoughts on “The Oldest

  1. Oh my…how beautiful and special to receive such affirmation of a daughters love. Treasure those words and all they mean. And continue to go confidently…………

  2. We all have relationship problems with our near and dear ones sometime or the other. But when maturity comes with life experiences, you understand one another better and you begin to love them for the role played by them in shaping your life. Your daughter has shaped her life thus and wishes you to follow your dreams. So sweet of her! You are lucky.

  3. That is just so beautiful! Your daughter sending you the gift and you sharing the gift with us all here… There’s so much love.. No matter how much we mother and daughters fight, there’s always love… Love makes us do crazy things… Sometimes we don’t understand each other but still there is love… So beautiful it is to be with the ones who love you… thanks for sharing 🙂

  4. And thanks for appreciating it. Understanding can be hard earned, but once we have it, it’s a lovely thing. Thank you for the lovely and thoughtful comment! ❤

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