There are moments in this new life that catch me feeling like I’m down the rabbit hole. Everything can feel so strange and unfamiliar; the streets like an unsolvable puzzle and faces from an alien world.
With no work yet it’s easy to become listless and start feeling of little value. It’s spooky and not emotions I’m used to carrying after a career as a paramedic for so long. Although applying for jobs online these days is practically a job in itself, taking hours for one job that may include a test, video and personality quizzes that leave you exhausted by the end.
But even with all these challenges facing me here in my new home, there is one very sure and satisfying part.
As I was driving to my Mom’s for dinner tonight (trying not to use Google maps ), I realized how really wonderful it is after 40 years to be able to drive 15 minutes to have a meal with my Mother. And the more we hang out, the more natural it is and the easier it feels.
We are past the awkward stage and seem now to really be enjoying each other’s company. She did the shopping and I made the dinner–she even put away the quiche for herself and enjoyed what I made instead. The conversation was real and not awkward. She gave me leftovers to bring home. And she made me laugh with the coffee she bought.
So whatever else I may feel here, I have family. We are catching up on lost time. And this is such a beautiful thing.