A neighbor stopped me on my walk today and said: I thought you were gone already. This is a neighbor that doesn’t usually talk to me–not unusual for my small New England town. We chatted and I explained my move and departure dates, and how good it feels to be downsizing.
I realized that I’m clearing out a whole lot more than material things. With this gigantic move to another part of the US, I am able to dump the clutter of ‘friends’ that really are no longer significant to me and my circle.
With something huge like this, whether it’s an illness, a death in the family, a divorce, a move or another monumental life change–the people standing across from you start to wear their true colors. Those that claimed to be your good friends, may really turn out to be those that just wanted things from you, say for instance all the furniture you were giving away. And then: poof, they are gone! You never hear from them again.
You look around, and only a fistful are standing on moving day. Some that have known you for a very long time, and some new. Some couldn’t make it, but were sure to see you before you left. Those colors are easy to see: painted with love and sadness for seeing you go. These are the ones that will stay in touch somehow and be your friend through time.
I have these friends from other places, from other moves. They are dear to me still. Friends don’t go away just because distance is placed between you. And they aren’t made because you give them something, not material anyway. It’s a connection from the heart and nothing can break that bond.
My Mother always said: a sign of a real friend is something who when you call them on the phone and say come, hangs up and starts walking, no questions asked. No excuses, no whining, no backing out.
I’ve been blessed to have many of these kinds of friends through the years. And for them I am grateful.