As I am preparing for the upcoming move, my Mother and I have been talking about how interesting it will be to live near each other once again. It’s been 40 years since she and my father sold the house we all lived in (while I was on a trip traveling across country) and decided to move South. I came home to boxes packed and their imminent move. I was left basically homeless.
The years have passed and we’ve carried on a long distance relationship. It’s often been strained, carried on mostly by phone conversations. I can probably count the visits on both hands. And the participation in major life events, even less. My daughters barely know my mother, although as they’ve gotten older their relationship with her is slowly growing.
So now as we’ve all matured and gotten older…and mellower, it’s easier to see a brighter future. And with this potential new venture of actually living within minutes of each other after years and years, it’s actually exciting to us both. It’s also given us both pause I believe as we both prepare in our own ways.
For me I see it as a time to reacquaint ourselves and our mother/daughter relationship. Because honestly, we don’t know each other any longer. I was 18 the last time we lived together! Just a kid. And she was the age I am now. Surely I have changed, and I’m betting she has too.
Living nearby will allow us to participate in the every day activities that get to the heart of someone’s personality. Sharing friends and how they perceive us will enlighten the other person and their preconceived notions. We can re-establish our own friendship, recreate new patterns and rekindle our long lost affection.
We both feel some trepidation as our relationship has had its bumps, but we are both very committed to making this a happy time. While my Mother is pretty healthy, it lurks in the back of both our minds that we have no idea how much time we may actually have to enjoy together. The 40 years we lost may have to be crammed into a short time. But they will be quality because we want it to be so. We are determined this time around to be connected, caring and respectful.
While we may have missed out on a lot of each other’s lives over the last years, we have something very special to look forward to now. Many people do not get this opportunity at all. We can catch up and move forward. My kids will visit and they will know her better also. Many family members visit her as she is now the matriarch, so I will in turn, see them.
So together we will create new memories that I will take into my future. And for this I am grateful.