It’s been an interesting week. Coming off some emotionally rough weeks, I feel like I’ve done some evolving. I told a friend this and she wasn’t sure what I meant. Evolution when it refers to the grand scheme of life obviously happens at a pace we cannot detect. For me, my evolution I suppose is on steroids in some ways, as I don’t have a billion years to live this particular life, only a measly 80-100 if I’m lucky. So I must do my work as quickly as I can, make the changes I feel necessary and blossom into the new life form that is more adaptable to life as we know it.
Of course, we all know this is easier said than done! I seem to go back and forth contemplating if we come with all the ‘stuff’ inside us that makes us who we are already. Or do we really have the means to change, be better, kinder, quieter, listen more, not gossip and go slower? If we’ve always done our lives a certain way, can we really evolve into a new and better person?
There are so many self-help books to guide us be these better people! And TV shows, and medicines, and psychiatrists and advice from our friends. But to me it seems that what it really boils down to is what is deep down inside of us. Are we happy with our lives and how we interact with the world around us? Are our relationships with people fulfilling and meaningful? Are we finding joy in our every day tasks, our careers, ourselves?
These are the questions that need to be answered before any book or person can help us. And sometimes the answers are hard to come by. The answers change from day-to-day. But if one makes a quiet space in their life, the answers do come and this is when true change follows.
Change and evolution becomes hard to grasp because the outside world has become accustomed to you in a certain persona. It tries to keep you trapped in that person and it is easy to stay trapped there. Even when we may be working hard to shed the skin of the old archetype, if one is perceived a certain way, it is easy to lapse back into that role.
Staying true to the new path one has chosen takes strength and perseverance. And help from special friends and mentors. The serendipitous moments that one has on this journey can be rewarding and beautiful! If one remains open, help comes sometimes where one would not expect it. It’s these moments when one is hit with the sense that the journey is the right one and that around the next corner will be yet another positive step towards enlightenment and self-awareness.
We are never done learning and growing. And I told someone recently, the more I learn about myself, the scarier it gets. But also I am finding more peace too as my inner questions become closer to being answered. I come closer to myself and more comfortable knowing I am OK with trying a new vision for a better me.
Deep breaths, more meditation, thinking more positively and believing that it will all be as it’s suppose to be. Trying more self containment and less controlling every external thing around me. My hibernating during this dark time of winter to evolve into a creature of spring: bright, warm, joyful and full of peace. This is my hope!