I did the hard thing and brought my new pup back to the humane center yesterday. It was a hard thing to do, but something the trainer there suggested strongly. After attacking my older dog and being pushy with me, they wanted to re-evaluate him and hopefully find him a more suitable home.
Being an adoptee myself, giving something back awakens all sorts of demons inside of me. What if I had been given back if someone didn’t like me? It’s not really a choice I ever like to make to be honest. But as much as I liked this little guy, it seemed like it would probably be the best move for all of us. And in the end, it even had a silver lining.
Because he was such a high energy and anxious dog, I had asked my middle daughter and her boyfriend to move in with me to help care for him. They had been living with his parents and were unhappy there, especially my daughter. I have lived alone for a long time, and for the most part, enjoy it. While I do get lonely at times and love my kids, I can’t say sharing my home with lots of people–especially ‘boyfriends’ (mine or others) was something I longed to do.
So after I gave him back, I wasn’t so sure I would have the same need to live with these kids. The boyfriend was having huge separation anxiety from him family and needed to be there all the time. And my daughter appeared to be attached to his hip. As I drove home from dropping Pip off, I called her and suggested they simply move back and I would manage another arrangements for my other dogs.
My daughter got quite upset saying I didn’t like any of her boyfriends blah blah and we went back and forth. I told her she was always welcome to stay without him and that it had nothing to do with me not liking him, but rather not wanting to LIVE with him. But finally she said wanted me to pick her up from their home (which once again they were visiting) so we could talk.
When she got in the car, she told me that she and the boyfriend had been discussing the living arrangements and they had come to a decision. I waited. My usually very confused and immature daughter told me they had decided he would move back to his parents and she would stay with me! I was shocked and delighted. Never in my wildest dreams did I think she would make such a smart decision!
So in the end I realized something: Pip and I did something for each other. Without him coming into my home, my daughter would never have moved out of the bad situation she was in and back into my house. There never would have been a reason to get them to do it. My daughter was miserable in their house too. And the trainer said that we were like a temporary home for Pip to teach him more manners, house training etc. to get him ready for his permanent home. So we both did good for each other.
I’m trying to look at it then as a positive connection for us all. They said I could call to check on him. I’m hoping his sweetness comes through and he finds a home with no other dogs and someone committed to spend lots of time with him. With those combinations I think he will be fine. Because things do happen for a reason they say all the time. I’ve missed my daughter and have never liked her living with her boyfriend’s family. I only hope this lasts!
My older dog is sick now and this is why Pippy may have attacked him according to the trainer. Just like in the wild, the dog vying for dominance will fight his way to the top. It is sad I had to give him up given my other dog may not be here long. But this isn’t the wild and Brinks deserves to die in peace. And then I will be left only with my Bo. He is my most wonderful friend anyway. And there I think I will stay for a while: a one dog gal. Keep life simple for a bit!
And so it goes: one four-legged kid leaves and one two-legged one comes back. Such is the life of a second half woman!