Slowly weave my home
Thread by thread perfectly made
Whose soul is the heart
Getting ready to chill for the weekend. How about you?
We’re happy it’s here in this house because it means some cool things are going down and we get to be together more.
But for now we’re gonna hit the sack because we have a very busy day ahead. Well, Mommy does anyway so some of us are resting up for her!
When were kids we expected the world to fall at our feet and for everything to go our way. We didn’t know that were supposed to work at some things to make them happen, or for them to be right because we were the center of the Universe and everything else revolved around us and our needs.
Ahhh, if only it could still be like that……
But, alas, this is not so when we grow to be adults. Unfortunately we learn, sometimes the hard way, that we must work (often with much effort) to make our lives come out the way we hope. The plans may be laid thoughtfully either in our minds, or even very carefully in real-time, and still end being tripped up when they come to fruition.
This may be due to any number of factors: our ‘dream’ may not be what we had quite imagined it to be or maybe some monkey wrench gets thrown in to burst our bubble after our tidy plans were hatched. Either way we can be hit we a huge wave of disappointment, which may turn into sadness, depression or even anger–anything but the joy, happiness and excitement we had been dreaming about.
For me I had experienced something like this with my move from the North where I had been for so many years to the South where I am now. It was a huge decision and took a long time to decide to do. There were many factors that made me chose to come, some pushing me from the northern end, and others pulling me from the south. So when the move finally came: I felt more than ready!
But after I had been here for some months and found myself away from my friends, my home, leaving a career I had for many years, in unfamiliar surroundings–suddenly I found myself second guessing myself. I was scared, down and leaning on my Mom a lot.
I’m not sure what the turning point was for me –when I realized that the world, this place I was now living in, was not going to come to me. I did know that one reason I came was because I didn’t want to be miserable anymore! It was for change, not more of the same.
So, when I heard on NPR about a book called: “This Is Where You Belong: The Art and Science of Loving the Place You Live” by Melody Warnick and the interview with the author, it gave me a whole new perspective on my dilemma. I have not nearly completed it, but it made me realize that I’ve barely given this place a chance, and that I personally have done nothing to make this place home.
While I’ve been grumbling and seeing all the negative, life has been passing me by here. All the good reasons I came have still been here and I’ve ignored them and focused only on the negative. When I changed my mindset at work and decided to love it there, things got so much better. It seemed time to do that with living here too.
In discussing this with my Mother, who has been my constant companion and confidant here, we decided that buying a condo, rather than renting–could possibly be a better option. Prices are high for rentals and many are such bad options. For me, I know that it’s all about mindset more than anything. Feeling more permanent here and a part of the community is what I may need, rather than feeling like a drifter. So I’m at least looking at a few places. Who knows if it’s possible, but it gives me hope anyway.And hope is a powerful tool.
The bottom line is that a main reason I came was to be closer to my Mom and I am very lucky to be near her. She has been steady when I’ve been unsteady. It’s been hard to express how strange it’s all felt at times, but she’s done her best to understand. She’s my rock and I’m so grateful to have her close after so many years.
So maybe I’m not a kid anymore and can’t have the world falling at my feet, but I try my hardest to make my world positive. And as long as I’m here and have my Mom around, I’ll still be her kid and she does the best she can to make my world the best it can be.
Looks like I will be going under cover. The only way to rent here with all my pets is to go stealth. This is the advice from everyone I have spoken to including the real estate people. Simply don’t mention one of the cats. Most places allow 2 pets, so one will be invisible. And technically she is because she is a fraidy cat. No one will ever see her.
So the trick will be slipping her in. But from the stories I’ve heard where folks have 6 cats and they manage to go unnoticed, I suppose I will be ok.
I’m usually a pretty honest person but the rules here are beyond crazy. It’s time to put my rebel hat on. In the grand scheme of rules to break, I don’t feel too bad about this one.
So now when I am looking for places I say that I have a dog and a cat. We’ll pretend my black kitty is invisible because I’m usually the only one that will see her…besides you guys.
Sink into the depths
While silvery light glitters
To the moon shine path
So I finally decided to change it up here, get out of my dull life, try to get into this place and be more proactive in my life. Who would have ever thought that I’d hit a major road block with a great attitude like this one?
No it’s not that I’m broke or have no credit…In fact I have wonderful credit. I’m gainfully employed and have a good work history. I can give good references, have lived in places for long times too. You could do a criminal background check on me and find that my murder charges are from a long ago….ha ha. No seriously folks, not even a speeding ticket.
Honestly, I’m your model citizen. I’ve owned my own homes for most my life really, but have moved here and have chosen to rent instead. Partly because I still own a home and am still trying to sell it and partly because I just don’t want to own right now. But I am the kind of person that would leave something better than how I found it–at least I think so.
So why can’t I find a place to rent? It’s not for lack of places, or resources even. There’s a simple, and to me unfair and silly explanation:
It’s because of the number of pets that live with me!
Where I live now, in this state, just about every living situation–even if you plan to buy something is governed by rules and regulations that restricts pet ownership. Many say none, some say 1, all rental buildings allow only 2 and some have size limitations. It’s nuts to me. So you can have two eighty pound dogs, but not one little dog and two cats. One guy had the nerve to ask me if I would just get rid of one of my cats! Obviously not an animal lover! I told him I didn’t drive all the way here, alone with my three pets just to give them away. His place wasn’t that great! Sheesh.
Right about now I’m feeling pretty low. I’m starting to know what it must feel like to be blocked out of housing, to have someone say: the likes of you can’t live here.That may sound crazy, but I felt like that as we went from one place to another and got turned away. My heart was thumping.
It might as well been the color of my skin. Because this is me, loving my animals is who I am, defines me as a person. Just like you can’t wash off the color of someone’s skin, you can’t tell me to just stop loving my pets and having them be a part of my life.
And anyone who doesn’t get that clearly has never been a pet lover. It would be like me telling someone to just get rid of one their kids! Seriously, would he have done that to someone else if they only allowed two kids in that place? Laughable.
And you can bet I will!